Poker Gods...I think we need to have a talk.

Since I started tracking my play I've been forced to closely examine some of the holes in my game.  And I know I've been playing better (in terms of NL, anyways...lets pretend that I can decide to never play pink again).  February, March, and April were good months for me at the NL tables (and actually at the non-pink limit tables too).

But since I went to MARGE I've just been running godawful.  I try to be honest with myself about my quality of play on any given hand.  I always analyze the big pots I lost to try to figure out if there was anything I could have done any better.  Did I bet enough to get out his draw?  Did I manage the pot size well?  Did I get myself into trouble by playing a trashy hand pf and not being able to fold when I didn't hit the flop hard enough?  Have I been adjusting to changing game conditions?  Honestly, I tilt the most when I conclude that I am playing bad (which of course is a double whammy and stupid).  Again, with the exception of pink, my tilt has been largely under control these past months, even with running so bad now because for the most part (with a few notable exceptions mostly in Pops' basement) I have concluded that I've been playing well.  I've been really good about sticking to my new NL game plan.

Down in Biloxi I got so sick of running bad that I decided to play more table games than I normally do.  Probably Definitely not a good idea.  Even with running bad at poker, I would have been even for the trip (minus expenses) if I hadn't played so much blackjack thanks to being able to pick up some smallish pots here and there and the fact that I made some money back the last session I played.

So when I drove up to AC today I was feeling good.  Yeah I've been running bad, but I don't think I've misplayed any of the big pots I've lost since last Monday (that qualifier needs to be in there because I played one particular hand at Pops' on Saturday HORRIBLY...didn't bet enough on the flop and still called when I knew I was beat - WTF was I thinking on that hand???).  They've just been unfortunate.  And I've been able to fold my mediocre hands (like one pair) easily when I think I am beat (and I'm almost always right which is always a good feeling).  I've been able to pick some good spots to float/steal based on the board and the other player.  So I told myself I was gonna come here, NOT play any table games, and just play good solid poker.  It was gonna be good.

So what happens when you play good solid poker and you get ass-raped repeatedly by bad luck?  I did NOT play table games at Borgata like I wanted to.  I CAN make money at poker.  I just gotta keep playing good and eventually my luck will turn around....right?  Last week at the Monday game I lost a bunch due to unfortunateness and ended up making $160 profit by the end of the night because I didn't let myself start playing bad*.  I CAN do it. 

But it would be really nice if the poker gods could also cut me some slack.  Poker gods, you have made your point.  I've gotten better about controlling my tilt (again, take pink out of the equation) when I am running bad.  I'm playing a lot more consistently well in 2008.  So what gives?

*there was one hand that night that was questionable...but upon further deliberation with the recipient of that beat (who happens to be a math major, LOL), we decided that I actually was not -EV that hand, just that it was basically a wash as far as EV goes.