Saturday, September 26, 2009

Yay for Good Music!

I've recently acquired a new iPod classic that I won't be able to fill by the time it breaks... It inspired me to completely organize my music collection both in hard copy and electronically.  Been ripping my entire cd collection to iTunes over the past few weeks.

One of my friends makes these awesome "Best of" cd's every year and I recently rediscovered this Nina Simone gem from his Best of 2006 album.  I love love love this song. 

Ain't Got No/I Got Life - Nina Simone

Ain't got no home, ain't got no shoes
Ain't got no money, ain't got no class
Ain't got no skirts, ain't got no sweater
Ain't got no perfume, ain't got no beer
Ain't got no man

Ain't got no mother, ain't got no culture
Ain't got no friends, ain't got no schooling
Ain't got no love, ain't got no name
Ain't got no ticket, ain't got no token
Ain't got no God

Then what have I got?
Why am I alive anyway?
Yeah, what have I got?
Nobody can take away

I got my hair, I got my head
I got my brains, I got my ears
I got my eyes, I got my nose
I got my mouth, I got my smile
I got my tongue, I got my chin
I got my neck, I got my boobs

I got my heart, I got my soul
I got my back, I got my sex
I got my arms, I got my hands
I got my fingers, Got my legs
I got my feet, I got my toes
I got my liver, Got my blood

I've got life , I've got my freedom
I've got life

And I'm gonna keep it
I've got life
And nobody's gonna take it away
I've got life



Tuesday, September 22, 2009

FARGO 2009 recap

You never forget your first.  I love Foxwoods.  It's home to a lot of poker firsts for me.  It's where I played my first live tournament, my first live cash game, my first live HORSE game... It's where I learned to play (way before I met the MD degenerates).  It's where I first turned $100 into $1000.  It's the first room where I knew floor people and room management by name.  It's where I first fell in love with poker.  All of this, combined with the fact that I'm only ever there alone makes it feel like my little (big?) corner of the poker universe.  I walk from the Rainmaker garage straight to the poker room (back way, down the escalators, and through the stud and limit section) and I smile every time.  I'm home.

There's a lot of things about the place that people love to hate, and it's true...there are some things that suck.  Last call (at a casino!!!) at 1:30am.  Dealers don't keep their own tips (they pool with the entire poker and pit).  It's frequently crowded cause it's such a big room.  Their comps used to really suck.  They have those ridiculous buttons.  But a lot of the bad about Foxwoods has changed over the past two years (buyins, rake, etc.) and there is a lot of good (cappuccinos! LOL). 

Original plan was to show up on Saturday for the NL and play the Sunday HORSE because I was backed to play the O8 tourney on Friday at the Borgata Poker Open.  However, I ran into some room issues and had a hold on my credit card which prevented me from booking a room anywhere for Thursday.  Gave backers back their money.  :(  Frustrated, I figured I might as well head up to Foxwoods early since their dinner was on Thursday night.  On top of that, for all the times I've been to Foxwoods, I've never once stayed in their hotel(s) because my parents live 15 minutes away.  FREE room and board with people who will cook for you trumps all.

So I headed up to the dinner at Custy's thinking that this was a good time for me to get over some of my long standing social phobia.  I was going to show up to the dinner by myself dammit.  It would be fine.

I was expecting it to be like the smoker's dinner at ATLARGE.  I showed up, met Tracy (FARGO organizer, who I'd emailed a few times), and walked into a restaurant with no bar to sit at, filled with people and their families.  After some attempted conversation with a guy, his wife, and their son (who I think thought I was nuts), and 10 minutes of sitting alone thinking showing up to FARGO all by myself was a really BAD idea, I turned around and found some people I knew from ATLARGE.  Goldie, Chic, Bob Lauria, and Todd (spidurman) were playing Chinese poker...for the glory.  Chic (as usual) had attracted quite a crowd as people watched him set his hands.  Breathing a sigh of relief, I walked over and attached myself to Chic et al, informing them that I had come to FARGO on my own.  Great guys that they are, they took me into the fold and we had a great dinner where I met some new people, and was riddled with Omaha8 puzzles by Bob Lauria (what are the three boards that you will have the nuts on if your hand is 9992?).

After dinner most people stayed to play the heads up match, but I hadn't registered for it, so I just went to my parents' house. 

Friday I spent mostly with my mom.  We went to see Bodies: Revealed.  I showed her around the giantness that is Foxwoods.  After dinner at home, I went and played some cash (8/16 HORSE, 1/2 PLO). 

Saturday, I got up bright and early to get to the NLHE tourney.  As I was registering at the cage, one of the floor people I know came over and told the cashier to give me the lucky seat because I was his landlady and he needed a break on rent.  Sadly, it wasn't the lucky seat, but I didn't do badly considering I had really awful hands (best was TT which I had to fold pf) and the structure and starting chips were kinda bad.  I'm too lazy to look back at twitter to see exactly when I busted, but it was when we were down to three tables.  They paid 11 (save for the bubble) and I think I busted out somewhere around 18th.  Ho hum.  I did have a great time though, and made some new friends based on my seat assignment (Steve and Chris, hi!). 

After making it pretty deep, I stayed around to play cash.  I was at 4/8 HORSE for a long time, made a bunch of money, went to 1/2 PLO, made a bunch more money, ate free comped dinner and beer, and then headed back to the poker room.

First thing I see coming through the limit side is Chris sitting at a very short 4/8 HORSE table.  I sit down, we start splashing around, and in no time Tracy and some others had joined us again.  We got a full table going and a full must-move (which eventually became HOREO!!! LOL).  Chris and Tracy and I played drunken poker (a lot of fun!!!!) until about 2am when we all decided it was time to sleep.

Up again early Sunday for the 11am HORSE tournament.  I feel that I played really well.  Again, the structure was not the best, but I played a really solid game and busted out in 11th after an awful 3 hands in a row at razz.  I got it in on my final hand with (24)67 against (J9)46.  J946 somehow went runners perfect A, 3, 2 to make a smooth 6 (I could NOT believe it!!!) and busted me out on the bubble.  Boo-hoo.  If I won that hand I would have moneyed cause antes and blinds were so high at that point we were dropping like flies.  *sigh*

I did not get to say goodbye to many people because they left when they busted out of the tournament and I made it to the final 2 tables, which was sad, but hopefully I'll see people again at ATLARGE.  I really had a great time at FARGO and was only by myself for the first few minutes of dinner.  Everyone was very welcoming! 



Epiphany

Today I realized just how messed up my head has been for the past year or so.  Wow...divorce = so not a good place.  Good news: I'm on road to recovery from past year.  Making progress.  Thanks to my friends and family for being there for me and helping me work my way out of my own mental fetters and reinforced insecurities.  Thanks for helping me to see the light and the true state of the world.

Starting to remember that you have to be there for yourself first, before you can be there for anyone else.  In the event of an emergency, please place your own mask before assisting children!



Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Queen high???

Had a very bizarre thing happen the other day.  Well, hand-wise, anyways.  I have seen some truly bizarre things when it comes to the people I am playing with.

So, I was at Foxwoods this weekend for FARGO.  A great time was had and I'll post a recap soon.  Sunday, post-HORSE tourney, I was playing at a 1/2 NL table.  I had a whole paragraph typed out here about recent (past 6 months or so) adjustments to my style of NL play, but then realized why do I want to share all of this with the world?  ;)  Suffice it to say that I've been experimenting recently with exploiting my usual tight image with some LAG-gy moves here and there. 

So I was at a 1/2 NLHE table with some aggressive players, I had a tight image, and I decided to get a little aggro when I was dealt AKs in the cutoff.  I raised to $12pf, and got heads up with the table fish (on the button).  Now, this guy was a station, but he also knew how to fold if the price was right, so the flop came out J46, rainbow.  He bet out $25, and I immediately check raised all in for about $150 on top.  The guy sitting next to me, obviously thinking I had a monster, whispered, "get 'em, girl." 

Station thinks forever and says: "$150 more?  I guess I have to call."  At this point I think he has a J, but hey, I have two overs, so what the hell.  Hopefully he doesn't have AJ. Turn: 6 River: Q.  I say, well, if you have a pair, you are good.  The table is clearly shocked at this revelation, but not as shocked as me when this guy table QcTc.  That's right.  He called my $150 check-raise all in on a J-high rainbow board with Queen high, no draw.  Then he says he thinks Queen high was good the whole way.  He's not joking or trying to tilt me.  I can tell he is sincere.

And all I can say about that is THANK GOD there are still people like you who sit at poker tables, sir.  Please, continue to call my checkraises with Qhigh!!!  LOL



Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Gun Shy

Have you ever had such a colossal error of judgment that it leaves you wondering if you ever had any good judgment in the first place?  In poker, I equate this feeling to have a really long streak of running poorly, such that it causes you to question everything you do and just feel like you forgot how to play.  Maybe you even do forget how to play for a bit.

I've felt that way recently.  Lots of people say "you'll learn from the experience," but I find myself wondering how I can learn from it, if I was dumb enough to be taken in so completely in the first place.  Who's to say I won't be a complete sucker in the future when I didn't even realize that I was being such a sucker to begin with?  In fact, I have to kind of believe that I will feel like (be) a complete sucker in the future since I obviously saw no warning signs of how duped I was.  This error of judgment has me walking around on egg shells recently, afraid to do much of anything for finding myself in the same position again...leaving me with even bigger trust issues than I already had.  Is putting your trust in anyone a sucker bet?  Yeah, I kinda feel like it is.  [As an aside: Strangely enough, the list of people I'd currently trust with my life includes my ex-husband.  Go figure.  (See, perhaps there's that sucker thing again).]

So world, I'm gonna play the game of life like scared money for a little bit.  Til I remember that I know how to play this game and get some confidence back.  Best way to do that?  Booking a solid W.  Gonna try to work on that one.  One life win, please.