Have you ever had such a colossal error of judgment that it leaves you wondering if you ever had any good judgment in the first place? In poker, I equate this feeling to have a really long streak of running poorly, such that it causes you to question everything you do and just feel like you forgot how to play. Maybe you even do forget how to play for a bit.
I've felt that way recently. Lots of people say "you'll learn from the experience," but I find myself wondering how I can learn from it, if I was dumb enough to be taken in so completely in the first place. Who's to say I won't be a complete sucker in the future when I didn't even realize that I was being such a sucker to begin with? In fact, I have to kind of believe that I will feel like (be) a complete sucker in the future since I obviously saw no warning signs of how duped I was. This error of judgment has me walking around on egg shells recently, afraid to do much of anything for finding myself in the same position again...leaving me with even bigger trust issues than I already had. Is putting your trust in anyone a sucker bet? Yeah, I kinda feel like it is. [As an aside: Strangely enough, the list of people I'd currently trust with my life includes my ex-husband. Go figure. (See, perhaps there's that sucker thing again).]
So world, I'm gonna play the game of life like scared money for a little bit. Til I remember that I know how to play this game and get some confidence back. Best way to do that? Booking a solid W. Gonna try to work on that one. One life win, please.
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