Towards the second half of last year, I started to keep more detailed records on my poker play. It really shed a lot of light on things that I really already knew but tried not to think about: some major holes in my game.
One of the biggest is discipline. My personality is definitely at odds with good play in some respects. I get angry too easily, I get bored too easily, and even though I definitely got over the fact that life isn't fair years and years ago in real life, for some reason I seem to suffer from the delusion that outcomes should be fair at the poker table. I don't mean cheating or rules violations. I mean, sometimes I feel that AA should always beat dominated hands like AK or KK...not just be the huge favorite that it is. And I will also admit to falling prey to feeling like sometimes "math is wrong" and that I run unluckier than other people, when in actuality that is probably not true at all.
I've always played the pink game (5/10 with a half kill rotation game of Tahoe, O8, Stud8) for fun. I certainly don't go into it with the same mindset I do when I play no limit (i.e. I am here to make money and I'm going to try to play the best technically correct game I can). There was a month towards the end of last year where I did play pink with that mindset and I actually made money at the game (shocker). But there is something about that game that makes it really difficult for me to stick to the game plan I set out with.... way more difficult than no limit. Maybe it's the fact that you can be stuck two buyins and scoop one pot and be essentially back to even. Maybe it's the fact that everyone else is also playing SO badly that I want to play badly and get there too. Or maybe it's the fact that you can see a flop for just two or four chips. And then I have the odds to try for my gutshot, so....
At any rate, two weeks ago I played good for while, built up a stack, then started to play badly, then got stuck, then played good again and got even, and then had variance kick me in the ass and take a lot of my chips. I ended up leaving just short of even, but was really frustrated...mostly with myself. I decided I was going to take a break from pink. Conveniently I had a happy hour and birthday party to go to the next Friday. Unfortunately, I still found myself at pink around 2am. I didn't stick to my game plan (like NOT playing the stupid stuff like 238), shipped $200, but then did something I have never had the discipline to do before... Got up and left after being in the game only $200.
I've started to view playing good in pink as a personal challenge. I know how to do it, I just have to do it.
Really I just have to find my discipline again in Tahoe (there was a time when I played a VERY LIMITED selection of hands in that game) and in O8 (again, I know that I shouldn't play KKK6 or JT98 and I used to be able to throw that shit in the muck). I always do well in Stud8 because for some reason I can play with discipline in that game and not get myself into trouble spots.
I couldn't find anything to do tonight (i.e. all my non-poker friends are working or out of town), so of course I will be showing up at pink. *sigh* I'm going to try my best to play well tonight. Even if I don't make money, I will be happy if I can just play well.
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