Thursday, January 24, 2008

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone

This is the end of the fifth week of vacation.  Next Monday school starts.  I won't lie; I've spent most of break feeling pretty depressed. 



One of my friends told me that the first two months suck and then one day you just feel a lot better than you did before.  I finally hit that point a few days ago and boy does it feel good.  I hadn't been motivated to get anything done that I needed to (figuring out bills, organizing the house, prepping for school) the whole break.  Especially in the weeks since I've been back from Vegas, I felt myself sliding into a bad mental place...a place where I haven't been in a long time.  It freaked me out, but I didn't know what to do about it.  The last time I felt that way having a routine and responsibilities helped me get out and
stay on track.  But it's hard to have a routine when you are on break.  I couldn't pull myself up and out. 



I don't know what prompted it, but yesterday morning I woke up and said: "OK, you've got shit to do.  You better do it.  Get your life together."  And I did.  I actually got all my bills sorted, got the house 90% to where I want it to be (still waiting on the living room furniture), and started tackling school stuff.  I've been cooking.  And I don't feel depressed anymore.  I feel like things are going to be good and I know where I want to be in life, so I'm going there.



I have no idea what prompted this turnaround (school starting soon?  frustration with poker?  time?), but I'm glad it happened.  I'm looking forward to being (successful, happy, independent and self-sufficient) me again. 



No comments:

Post a Comment