This is the end of the fifth week of vacation. Next Monday school starts. I won't lie; I've spent most of break feeling pretty depressed.
One of my friends told me that the first two months suck and then one day you just feel a lot better than you did before. I finally hit that point a few days ago and boy does it feel good. I hadn't been motivated to get anything done that I needed to (figuring out bills, organizing the house, prepping for school) the whole break. Especially in the weeks since I've been back from Vegas, I felt myself sliding into a bad mental place...a place where I haven't been in a long time. It freaked me out, but I didn't know what to do about it. The last time I felt that way having a routine and responsibilities helped me get out and
stay on track. But it's hard to have a routine when you are on break. I couldn't pull myself up and out.
I don't know what prompted it, but yesterday morning I woke up and said: "OK, you've got shit to do. You better do it. Get your life together." And I did. I actually got all my bills sorted, got the house 90% to where I want it to be (still waiting on the living room furniture), and started tackling school stuff. I've been cooking. And I don't feel depressed anymore. I feel like things are going to be good and I know where I want to be in life, so I'm going there.
I have no idea what prompted this turnaround (school starting soon? frustration with poker? time?), but I'm glad it happened. I'm looking forward to being (successful, happy, independent and self-sufficient) me again.
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