Katie Uber Alles

2010 - A Year in Terrible Quality iPhotos

2011-01-01T13:27:00.001-08:00

I really had a lot of fun compiling this post last year. Always fun to scroll through all the pics you've taken for a year on your iPhone and relive and remember the things you did. Here's the 2010 version.

2010 started with me taking a New Year's cruise with my parents on their boat. Mom and I ended up being stuck in Vancouver for a week and a half, but after that we had a great time. It was really nice having some one on one time with my parents, and we went to some cool places. Lots of traveling this year, including a 6 week roadtrip with the only person I've met crazier than me, @scsuhockey10. Year ended with me moving to Vegas. No clue what 2011 will bring, but this year was pretty fun. Enjoy and happy 2011. xxx, Katie

Dad and I catching up on emails at a bar with wifi, Ganges Harbor, WA 1/2010

Mom and Dad and I took a ride in the oldest continuously operating elevator in the world, Victoria, BC 1/2010

Darth Vadar playing violin in Victoria, BC 1/2010

PLO in Baltimore 1/2010

On the bubble of the Borgata Winter Open PLO tourney 1/2010

My car buried in one of the Snowpocalypses. Thankfully I had @alcanthang with me to help me shovel! 2/2010

Pink chip game after getting my stack tossed Columbia, MD 2/2010

The only picture I took on my phone during Mastodon Weekend, Greenville, SC 3/2010


3/6 LHE at Wednesday night before ATLARGE. I'm in for $200. 3/2010

Me and partner in crime, ATLARGE Smoker Dinner, AC, 3/2010

Pink Chip Game at ATLARGE...yes there is a black chip in there too. 3/2010

Beach at my parents' house where my Dad taught me how to drive stick in his BMW Z4 3/2010

Early morning out my window at Harrahs AC 4/2010

At the Beach with my sister, Southern NJ 5/2010

Playing Heads Up Chinese with @uaegreg in Philly 6/2010

2/5 NLHE at Harrahs AC 6/2010

1/3 NLHE at the WSOP this year 6/2010

6/12 mix at Venetian with ARGers 6/2010


Coming into Day 2 of the $1500 HORSE...my bag looked a lot better than the year before. 6/2010

Watched 7/4 fireworks at Harrahs AC with my sis and her bf. We ended up getting pelted with fireworks shells due to wind. 7/2010

Playing drken Apples to Apples with @dmfarley @neamhspleach @fuzz4000 @sumohurdler et al. Duct tape is what I need for my mouth! 7/2010

My favorite restaurant's cheese tray, National Harbor, 7/2010

Most Friday nights in 2010 were spent with me dealing the Pink Chip game in Maryland with @Bmore_Billy, 7/2010

Summer boat trip with the family. I had an allergic reaction to UV rays AND threw my back out. Still a good trip. 7/2010

Sisters! 7/2010

Me and John in the dinghy after taking it through some rapids. Canada, 7/2010

On the boat trip, we found a German restaurant where the owner had this handy shot holder. Canada, 7/2010

This is why I love my parents' boat. British Columbia, Canada, 7/2010

This is the Summer salmon catch, British Columbia, Canada, 2010

After a long day fishing with Sarah and John 7/2010

BARGE banquet Vegas, 8/2010

Playing the first ever game of EFQ at the Goldman's, Vegas, 8/2010

I'm in for $200. This is a 1/2 NLHE game in Glen Burnie, MD. 8/2010

Yes, I ended up with little green armmeni n my purse after a night of drinking with Dan and Molly, DC, 8/2010

Me and Molly showing off our shoes, DC, 8/2010

First day of Vegas-Connecticut Roadtrip. There is a story about Texas Station. Ask Jeanne or Bob. ;) Vegas, 9/2010

Dbacks game on the roadtrip, Arizona 9/2010

Starting to get in the middle of nowhere, Arizona 9/2010

On one of the longest bridges in the world, Crossing the Atchifalaya Basin in Louisiana, 9/2010

Remnants of a crazy night in NOLA, 9/2010

Nights like these were how we both ended up gaining OMG weight on the roadtrip, Wafflehouse, Biloxi, MS, 9/2010

Drinking with Chic in Tampa, 9/2010

Kennedy Space Center, 9/2010

Can't believe we got away with this... NL 2-7 SD SNG at the BBar at Borgata during the Fall Open. AC, 9/2010

Drunk and stupid clowning on the AC Boardwalk, 9/2010

Todd playing the LHE portion of our stack during the FARGO pairs tourney. We min-cashed. LOL, Foxwoods, 10/2010

The PokerStars chipset I got when I won the PLO shootout to OE final table Sunday FARGO tourney. We played EFQ in the suite LDO. Foxwoods, 10/2010

On my drive to Vegas, I crashed in Chicago with @zymm and ended up making friends with her cat. Chicago, 10/2010

Ahhhh... new home! Vegas, 10/2010

9/18 mix at Aria, Vegas, 10/2010

Halloween!!! Vegas, 10/2010

Sweating the November Nine at the Rio, Vegas 10/2010

Parents took me out to Mohegan Sun for my birthday where I got this awesome red velvet brownie! Mohegan Sun, 11/2010

Evidence that slot machine themes have jumped the shark, Vegas 12/2010

First night of WPBT. Karaoke. Vegas, 12/2010

My new fav VP bar and drink at Cosmopolitan, Las Vegas, 12/2010

Happy New Year!!!! Vegas, 12/2010

You don't get me because you're not (fill in the blank)

2010-12-31T06:26:00.000-08:00

It was brought to my attention that I have been letting this space die. And it's true. I haven't been doing it purposefully. Quite frankly, I've had a lot of great adventures in the last half of 2010. But I'm lazy, and I also don't want my parents to read some of that stuff (Hi Mom and Dad!). ;)

I've been thinking about some stuff lately that is shockingly world appropriate. And I was nagged to start writing in this space again. So here I am.

When I was in my MA program, I concentrated pretty heavily on bureaucracy. Within the bureaucracy literature, there is a debate as to whether one needs to be "like" someone in order to accurately and adequately represent their views and desires. This is the old "you need to walk a mile in my shoes before you get me" argument. When I first found this argument, my gut reaction was to say "no, of course not." After all, if you need to be exactly like someone to represent them, the whole idea of Democracy is probably flawed. However, the more I contemplate this, the more I wonder if it's not true.

Thoughts welcomed.

Judgment and Societal Norms

2010-09-17T10:14:00.000-07:00

I've been very delinquent posting here recently. I've been running around with sporadic internet access lately and that's part of it. The other part is that a lot of the interesting stuff in my life is not necessarily public appropriate. I also think it's probably pretty boring to read about the stuff that is public appropriate. At any rate, I digress.

I'm back in MD after an extended period away. I've been catching up on conversations with a lot of friends. It might not surprise you to know that many of my friends live "alternative" lifestyles, considering I myself live an alternative lifestyle in some ways (though I tend to think of myself as pretty normal). For whatever reason, several of these recent conversations have centered on societal norms. I've been doing a lot of thinking about the subject.

Why the hell are so many of these norms still "normal" in this day and age? I'm not talking about societal norms that exist for obvious reasons. I mean, it seems pretty clear why murder is inappropriate in any society that expects to function. That is clearly a rational norm. But what about other things?

In one conversation, the topic that jump-started confusion over norms was marriage. Two of my friends who have an unconventional relationship recently got married. The decision to legally formalize their relationship had more to do with legal practicalities than anything else; they are not the kind of people who need to follow the expected conventional path in terms of marriage. Nor did they have a traditional wedding, reception, etc. For some reason, this seems to bother many people they know. Why? Why would this have any bearing on other people? It doesn't. And yet other people seem to feel the need to interject judgment on them for not doing it the "right" way. This behavior eludes me. Why does it matter if someone does all the traditional stuff? How two people choose to live their life together is really only relevant to the two people involved. So what if YOU want a traditional wedding...are you so unwilling to accept that not everyone might want the same things you do?

In another conversation, I was discussing the fact that I am not a traditional romantic. Don't get me wrong, I love romance, but what most people think of as "romance" is not me. I don't need a big engagement ring or elaborate proposal. As a matter of fact, I'd rather have the proposal be private than some big public declaration of the intent to marry. And as for the ring, it seems like there are better things to spend money on than a piece of bling. I don't need material gifts. I'd much rather celebrate special ocassions by, you know, actually spending time with the people I love. Spending time is more important to me than material goods. And yet so many people seem to think it means you don't love them if you don't buy someone roses on Valentine's day (I'd rather have you buy me Gerber daisies on a random day when you know I'm in a bad mood). Why do people judge other couples as "not in love" if they don't all engage in the accepted relationship practices? I have yet to figure this out. How the heck do you know what two people feel for each other or what is meaningful to them? Is it so hard to understand that people might be different?

I was very much raised to think that adults should be able to do their own thing. People celebrate life, death, happiness, and sadness in different ways. People grieve differently. Why should I force my understanding of any of these concepts on you? I'm so happy my family looks at life with this attitude. You don't want to come to so and so's funeral because you want to grieve alone? Great. No one is going to judge you. Let us know if you need anything. No one that I care about is going to get snippy because I chose not to have a garter toss at my wedding, but hey, if you want to do that at your wedding, I'm not going to look down on you. Do your own thing. Do what is important to you.

There are so many important things in the world. Life and death things. Perhaps the world would be a better place if people focused more on the important things and less on the bullshit. Perhaps people should focus more on what is important to those who they care about than what society thinks those people should or should not be doing.

This is one of those things that I don't think I'm ever going to get. There seem to be a lot of those things, and most of them have to do with social traditions and norms that do not seem to be based on any kind of rationality.

Adventure 2010

2010-07-12T03:54:00.000-07:00

I can't even remember the first time I was on a boat. Supposedly, my mom was on my grandparents' boat when she was pregnant with me, so it must've been early on in my life.

When growing up, summers were spent in one of two places: Michigan with my cousins, or on the Pacific Ocean on my grandparents' sailboat, the Ilikai II, a Panda 40.

Eventually my grandparents' sold their boat, and for a few years, our boating adventures were limited to charters. Then, two years ago, there was the debacle that was my Dad buying a boat while my Mom was out of town (they got out of it). Finally, last year, they ended up getting a great price (yay faltering economy) on a Grand Banks 42 Classic, Change of Latitude.

In 2009 I spent about 5 weeks on Change of Latitude; 3 in the Summer and 2 in the Winter. And now I'm headed back for round 2. Will be aboard COL from July 15th-August 3rd. Expect many pictures when I return. Before that, you can follow progress at the blog my dad finally set up here. And if you are curious, you can follow my Aunt and Uncle's trip around the world in their catamaran here.

Hermiting

2010-07-11T03:50:00.000-07:00

People who know me well know that I am actually quite a private person. Sure, I'm loud and make inappropriate jokes when in a crowd, but I tend to hold the important things close to my heart, without letting many people know the depths of my feelings or emotions. Especially the things that are important to me. I don't like to feel so vulnerable. Vulnerable is scary. Vulnerable is also why I've been super-moody for the past several weeks. So please accept my apology if I've blown you off recently. Or ignored your IM, or phone call. I've kinda just felt like being alone. Things need to be taken care of on the home front, and I'm hoping being relatively incommunicado from the world on a boat for a few weeks will help with that. Cheers.

Nostalgia

2010-06-29T00:15:00.000-07:00

Can hardly wait til December. :D

(photo by the ever talented Tim Whims)

I <3 Princess Leia

2010-06-12T18:15:00.000-07:00

I so totally remember this moment. We were on Cannon Beach, in Oregon. Flying kites (obv). Perfect day for it as it was really windy. Of course, my hair kept getting in my face, despite the pink barrettes my mom had in my hair. lol

Yes, I Have a Strangely Awesome Family

2010-06-12T17:21:00.000-07:00

I credit my parents for my love of learning. I have always been inquisitive (others might say downright nosy). I was that nerdy kid that actually read through the dictionary, and several volumes of Encyclopedia Britannica. After accomplishing those lofty goals, I saw fit to read the entirety of the 92.x section (biographies) in our local library. And after that, I tended to get rather obssess-y about different periods in history, reading everything I could about it, and then moving on to another time period. Somewhere in there, I also managed to read both Old and New Testament of the Bible. Strange considering my family is, at best, agnostic. Good thing I am a quick reader.

In elementary and middle school, probably in an attempt to keep me and my already rather ADD-self from getting bored, my Dad started giving us challenges. He'd ask us a question and we had to come up with the answer before dinner the next day. They were generally mini-research projects. I thought this was awesome. (See, I told you I was a very abnormal child). (FTR, this is also probably why I am so good at trivia).

My immediate family only gets together 2-3 times/year if we are lucky these days. My sister has a work schedule that keeps her fairly busy on most holidays and my dad travels a lot for work. Generally the four of us only get together for a day at Thanksgiving and a few days at Christmas. This year, we all managed to coordinate a week on my parents' boat as well. The last time my sister and I were on a boat together with my parents was 2004? 2002? Awhile ago, at any rate.

So, in order to make the most of our time together, my dad sent out an email today suggesting that we do theme nights. He suggested a few ideas, mostly relating to old family traditions, and asked for other ideas. My sister suggested a quiz night about stuff related to the boat. Hmmmmmm... I might need to study up. Sounds like another research project to me. ;)

Top of the Trop, Monday night, 11:10pm

2010-06-08T04:30:00.000-07:00

Though I don't really remember how we got on the subject, it quickly became one of those conversations that you want to bottle and save, so the next time someone asks you about yourself you can just say "listen to this" rather than trying to explain it. My sister and I seem to have those conversations a lot.

This particular evening, we were sitting in the lounge area at the Top of the Trop (which is one of those places I'm glad most people in AC do not know about) with her boyfriend. We were discussing psychology. More particularly each of our own psychology. How it shaped various relationships we've had. How our personalities have driven our relationships with our parents. And how all of our personalities interacted together. How so few people really *knew* our true personalities.

Sarah noted: "I think a lot of people I know now would be surprised to learn how clingy I was when I was younger."

I responded: "I think a lot of people you knew then would be surprised you are socially functional now."

She rebutted: "I'm more socially functional than you!!!"

I paused for a moment and considered. I could not disagree.

WSOP Fantasy 2010

2010-05-27T09:44:00.000-07:00

I have a decent track record in WSOP Fantasy pools. This year, I'm in one with @scsuhockey10 and @teamgetbig.

I think we have an interesting group of teams. We're using WSOP POTY points to determine winner and not weighting any events. I tried to pick people who I think will play a large number of events as well as having a good shot at cashing in the events in which they play (duh). Didn't get all my desired picks, and I forgot about Vanessa Selbst after thinking I should pick her, but overall I'm happy with my team. Annette is somewhat of a question mark, since this is the first WSOP she is eligible to play in, but she is one of my favorite players and massively talented. Hopefully she will make some deep runs.

Andy:

Ivey

Timoshenko

Greenstein

T. Chan

Bonomo

Glantz

Grospellier

Shorr

S. Gross

Jaka

Bob:

Lauria

Harder

Baldwin

Clements

Marchese

S. Stein

Leah

Busquet

Van Alstyne

Mackey

Katie:

Mercier

Hellmuth

Lisandro

Obrestad

Bloch

Juanda

Monnette

Hawrilenko

Ferguson

Parker

Quote from a Friend on my FB Wall

2010-05-12T11:38:00.000-07:00

"If
I were to try to read, much less answer, all the attacks made on me,
this shop might as well be closed for any other business. I do the very
best I know how - the very best I can; and I mean to keep doing so
until the end. If the end brings me out all right, what's said against
me won't amount to anything. If the end brings me out wrong, ten angels
swearing I was right would make no difference."

--Abraham Lincoln

Ladies and Gentlemen, Introducing the Plobcycle

2010-05-04T18:51:00.000-07:00

"@ckbwop I think I just figured out what a #plobcycllle is. Blog post coming. #muhahahaha" - me, earlier this evening on Twitter.

My stack shortly before the game broke after the plobcycle helped me to recover from $150/$300.

Flashback to WPBT in December. We had arrived on Thursday. We partied like rockstars. Sunday came and went. A bunch of us ended up, post-football, at the IP Geisha bar for our last hurrah before everyone went home. CK and I were standing around, drinking our drinks, when she looks at me and asks if we should see if the Sunday night IP mixed game is running. I look across the pit. The poker room is only like 500 feet from us. We wander over with Dawn. Somehow, before you know it, there is NOT a mixed game, but a 1/2 NLHE game, featuring the drunken likes of me, CK, Dawn, F-train, Penner, and assorted others. There was also a whole Rich/Not Rich controversy and as it turns out I actually knew Not Rich, but I digress. Much hilarity ensued at this game, and if you were not there, you totally missed out.

At one point, some blogger donkey made a wheel. In 1/2 NLHE. I immediately flashed back to four years ago at the Trop. There was a crazy Asian woman who would say "biiiiiiiiiiicyclllllllle!" in a super annoying voice every time she made a wheel. I'm certain I said both "biiiiiiiiiicycllllllllllle!" and told the story to the other bloggers. For some reason this seemed very funny at the time. I'm guessing because we were all pretty drunk.

Though WPBT ended shortly thereafter, periodically, CK and I would tweet "#biiiiicyclllllle" to each other, primarily when one of us tweeted about playing O8. I started abusing the hashtag, and one day when I was playing PLO, someone tweeted #biiiiicycllllllle in an attempt to wish me good PLO luck. A discussion of how a bicycle was clearly a terrible PLO hand ensued. CK tweeted "#plobcyclllllle!" (which, in my mind, is pronounced Plob-cycle, not PLO bicycle). And thus another hashtag meme was born. However, none of us could quite figure out what a plobcycle WAS. Broadway? No...who wants to flop a straight in Omaha? We never pinned it down.

Tonight I discovered what a plobcycle was. If this is NOT a plobcycle, I don't know what is.

The Borgata Poker Room. Table 19. 1/2 PLO, full ring, lots of donkeys. Shortly before midnight on a Tuesday.

Your hero is in the 1 seat. Two to her left is a super lagtard PLO player. He will always bet your hand for you. Sadly, your hero has been running badly and is down to $150/$300. Her game plan for getting even? Repot the lagtard the next time she has a quality hand.

Oh, look at this! Hero has looked down to see AdTdAcQc. She is UTG. Purrrrrrrfect. Hero innocently throws two chips in the pot. Two seat also limps. Three seat pots as expected. $12. What's this? Several calls of the $12? Even better. I make it $60 to go. Somewhat shockingly, 2, 3, 4, 8, and 10 seat all flat the $60. I pray to hit the flop hard because I'm jamming my remaining $90 no matter what it is. Flop: A25. Rainbow. I jam, praying no one has 34, for a #biiiiicyclllllle. 2 seat folds. 3 seat folds. 4 seat...pots? NOOOOOOOOOOOO! I happen to know the 4 seat and he is not potting here to do me a solid and offer me protection. He is potting because he has 34. He flopped a motherfucking #biiiiicycllllllllle.

Everyone folds. He does not table his hand, but I know I need the board to pair. The whole table is well aware I have flopped top set, though I have not tabled my hand either. My opponent knows he needs to dodge the board pairing. I'm thinking "ONE TIME!!!!!" when the turn comes off a Kd. "PAIR THE BOARD, DEALER, COME ON!!!!" The river looks to be a safe Js.

The 4 seat sighs relief and tables 2345, right as I say, "I have broadway." The entire table is shocked. "You don't have top set?," the 6 seat asks, clearly confused. I table AAQT double-suited. The four seat curses under his breath. "Nice hand, Katie." I get pushed a very large pot. Good return on investment for $150.

My first thought is: "And that, ladies and gentlemen, is a plobcycle."

OMG, not a post about poker!

2010-04-24T05:42:00.000-07:00

The other day I was spending some time with Molly and the topic of health insurance came up. I'm officially uninsured June 15th (which reminds me, I guess I should look into private "Oh Shit" insurance, but, I digress...). She asked me how I planned to handle that.

In reality, I hope to have a job on the horizon by then, so hopefully this will not be such a big deal. Furthermore, I'm relatively healthy. I've only been to the hospital twice in my life, both due to my own klutziness. I don't have any pre-existing conditions or medication I need to take for anything. The only pill I take on a daily basis is my birth control. And therein lies the rub.

I told Molly the primary reason I want health insurance is so I don't have to pay $50/month for something that all women should have affordable access to. Right now I pay $5/month. A few years ago when I was working a 9 to 5-er, I paid $2.50/month. But $50/month for basic birth control pills? Why? ¡Que ridículo!

Why is Katie always talking about Latin dancing when she gets unlucky?

2010-04-20T02:52:00.000-07:00

RT @ehonda500mob #Rumbas what do that mean @OnAFoldDraw @caitycaity

Anyone who owns an iPhone knows that its autocorrect feature sometimes takes a little while to get used to your own peculiarities. For a very long time, whenever I wanted to type "for", I would end up with "fir" prompting numerous embarrassing texts in which I sound like an uneducated hick, as well as myriad pine tree jokes from @onafolddraw. And then there was the time at the series last year when I sent a bunch of angry tweets where "go fuck yourself" got changed to "go duck yourself." Not QUITE the same effect. Fortunately, my phone has now adapted and realizes that when I type fuck, I generally didn't intend to say duck.

Rumbas is one such addition to my lexicon that I have decided to keep. I can't tell the hilarity of how rumbas started in 140 characters, so here is the official story:

Sometime back in 2009, I was at Harrah's AC Poker room. @realdawnsummers and I were tweeting back and forth about my session which had just come to an abrupt end when my QQ < 92o after I check-raise 5 bet from UTG pre flop. Yes, it was one of THOSE days. Actually, that day had a happy ending, as I got a pep talk from Brian ("If there was any player in this room that I would back, it would be you! You KNOW you can do this!") and ended up with profit, after getting stuck quite a lot. But I digress.

I was in the midst of some "OMFG can you believe 92 just cracked my QQ? How is 924r not a safe flop there???" tweet to Dawn when I decided I needed to add a bunch of hilarious hashtags. (In case you don't know, Dawn is the queen of #SuperLongHashTagMemesThatAlwaysCrackMeUp). Of course, the first hashtag I added was #runbad...or at least what I thought was #runbad. I was tilty and taking a walk to get my head together and hit send without proofreading.

Shortly thereafter, I noticed my iPhone had autocorrected #runbad to #rumbas. In case you don't know, a rumba is a Latin dance. In between fits of laughter, I tweeted back Dawn to say "#rumbas, WTF is that? OBV I meant #runbad. LOL"

Apparently Dawn thought #rumbas was as funny as me, so now we both frequently use #rumbas instead of #runbad. I have to say, it makes me giggle a little bit every time, and therefore not be on #rumbas tilt. In addition to the dance, rumbas is also the Spanish word for parties, which is of course what one tends to throw when on tilt after some #runbad. Perhaps my smart phone is actually smarter than me...

Slumber My Darling

2010-04-12T18:05:00.000-07:00

Been listening to Appalachia Waltz and Appalachian Journey a lot recently. Here is a favorite.

Slumber, my darling, thy mother is near,

Guarding thy dreams from all terror and fear,

Sunlight has pass'd and the twilight has gone,

Slumber, my darling, the night's coming on.

Sweet visions attend thy sleep,

Fondest, dearest to me,

While others their revels keep,

I will watch over thee.

Slumber, my darling, the birds are at rest,

The wandering dews by the flow'rs are caressed,

Slumber, my darling, I'll wrap thee up warm,

And pray that the angels will shield thee from harm.

Slumber, my darling, till morn's blushing ray

Brings to the world the glad tidings of day;

Fill the dark void with thy dreamy delight--

Slumber, thy mother will guard thee tonight,

Thy pillow shall sacred be

From all outward alarms;

Thou, thou are the world to me

In thine innocent charms.

Slumber, my darling, the birds are at rest,

The wandering dews by the flow'rs are caressed,

Slumber, my darling, I'll wrap thee up warm,

And pray that the angels will shield thee from harm

Line of the day

2010-04-08T17:29:00.000-07:00

"It could be the most spirited interspecies escape since The Rescuers."

(link courtesy of my sister)

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2006/07/060705-mouse-frog.html

How can you not be a fan of Bob Dylan?

2010-03-29T21:19:00.000-07:00

@puravida26 has just put me on a Bob Dylan kick.

Visions Of Johanna

Ain’t it just like the night to play tricks when you’re tryin' to be so quiet?

We sit here stranded, though we’re all doin’ our best to deny it

And Louise holds a handful of rain, temptin’ you to defy it

Lights flicker from the opposite loft

In this room the heat pipes just cough

The country music station plays soft

But there’s nothing, really nothing to turn off

Just Louise and her lover so entwined

And these visions of Johanna that conquer my mind

In the empty lot where the ladies play blindman’s bluff with the key chain

And the all-night girls they whisper of escapades out on the “D” train

We can hear the night watchman click his flashlight

Ask himself if it’s him or them that’s really insane

Louise, she’s all right, she’s just near

She’s delicate and seems like the mirror

But she just makes it all too concise and too clear

That Johanna’s not here

The ghost of ’lectricity howls in the bones of her face

Where these visions of Johanna have now taken my place

Now, little boy lost, he takes himself so seriously

He brags of his misery, he likes to live dangerously

And when bringing her name up

He speaks of a farewell kiss to me

He’s sure got a lotta gall to be so useless and all

Muttering small talk at the wall while I’m in the hall

How can I explain?

Oh, it’s so hard to get on

And these visions of Johanna, they kept me up past the dawn

Inside the museums, Infinity goes up on trial

Voices echo this is what salvation must be like after a while

But Mona Lisa musta had the highway blues

You can tell by the way she smiles

See the primitive wallflower freeze

When the jelly-faced women all sneeze

Hear the one with the mustache say, “Jeeze

I can’t find my knees”

Oh, jewels and binoculars hang from the head of the mule

But these visions of Johanna, they make it all seem so cruel

The peddler now speaks to the countess who’s pretending to care for him

Sayin’, “Name me someone that’s not a parasite and I’ll go out and say a prayer for him”

But like Louise always says

“Ya can’t look at much, can ya man?”

As she, herself, prepares for him

And Madonna, she still has not showed

We see this empty cage now corrode

Where her cape of the stage once had flowed

The fiddler, he now steps to the road

He writes ev’rything’s been returned which was owed

On the back of the fish truck that loads

While my conscience explodes

The harmonicas play the skeleton keys and the rain

And these visions of Johanna are now all that remain

Sad-Eyed Lady Of The Lowlands

With your mercury mouth in the missionary times,

And your eyes like smoke and your prayers like rhymes,

And your silver cross, and your voice like chimes,

Oh, who among them do they think could bury you?

With your pockets well protected at last,

And your streetcar visions which you place on the grass,

And your flesh like silk, and your face like glass,

Who among them do they think could carry you?

Sad-eyed lady of the lowlands,

Where the sad-eyed prophet says that no man comes,

My warehouse eyes, my Arabian drums,

Should I leave them by your gate,

Or, sad-eyed lady, should I wait?

With your sheets like metal and your belt like lace,

And your deck of cards missing the jack and the ace,

And your basement clothes and your hollow face,

Who among them can think he could outguess you?

With your silhouette when the sunlight dims

Into your eyes where the moonlight swims,

And your matchbook songs and your gypsy hymns,

Who among them would try to impress you?

Sad-eyed lady of the lowlands,

Where the sad-eyed prophet says that no man comes,

My warehouse eyes, my Arabian drums,

Should I leave them by your gate,

Or, sad-eyed lady, should I wait?

The kings of Tyrus with their convict list

Are waiting in line for their geranium kiss,

And you wouldn’t know it would happen like this,

But who among them really wants just to kiss you?

With your childhood flames on your midnight rug,

And your Spanish manners and your mother’s drugs,

And your cowboy mouth and your curfew plugs,

Who among them do you think could resist you?

Sad-eyed lady of the lowlands,

Where the sad-eyed prophet says that no man comes,

My warehouse eyes, my Arabian drums,

Should I leave them by your gate,

Or, sad-eyed lady, should I wait?

Oh, the farmers and the businessmen, they all did decide

To show you the dead angels that they used to hide.

But why did they pick you to sympathize with their side?

Oh, how could they ever mistake you?

They wished you’d accepted the blame for the farm,

But with the sea at your feet and the phony false alarm,

And with the child of a hoodlum wrapped up in your arms,

How could they ever, ever persuade you?

Sad-eyed lady of the lowlands,

Where the sad-eyed prophet says that no man comes,

My warehouse eyes, my Arabian drums,

Should I leave them by your gate,

Or, sad-eyed lady, should I wait?

With your sheet-metal memory of Cannery Row,

And your magazine-husband who one day just had to go,

And your gentleness now, which you just can’t help but show,

Who among them do you think would employ you?

Now you stand with your thief, you’re on his parole

With your holy medallion which your fingertips fold,

And your saintlike face and your ghostlike soul,

Oh, who among them do you think could destroy you?

Sad-eyed lady of the lowlands,

Where the sad-eyed prophet says that no man comes,

My warehouse eyes, my Arabian drums,

Should I leave them by your gate,

Or, sad-eyed lady, should I wait?

Two Random Thoughts About Poker

2010-03-26T22:19:00.000-07:00

Both thoughts occurred to me when I was driving to get dinner. Not sure why.

1) I have played 2/5/10 PLO on more than one occasion. The stakes do not particularly scare me. And yet for some reason 5/10 NLHE really scares me a lot. 2/5/10 is a much bigger game than 5/10 NLHE, so why the incongruity? I think know I have more confidence in my PLO game. Need to think about this more and think of how I can improve my NLHE game and my confidence. I am NOT SCARED when I sit at a PLO table. Depending on the table makeup, sometimes I am a little nervous at NLHE.

2) I feel decidedly anti-feminist for saying so, but I've been thinking a lot about women in poker recently, and most of it is not good. I'm too tired to write a coherent essay on this topic right now (a la CK), but I do have some additional thoughts on this that I'd like to share. Let's just say that most of my thoughts on this topic make me feel like a bad person, and certainly a bad woman.

It's March?

2010-03-16T18:28:00.000-07:00

It seems like just yesterday when I was wondering what 2010 would bring. I've been sadly neglecting my blog for a long time. I have had lots of interesting adventures in the past three months, but I've had various reasons for not wanting to post about them here from 1) my parents read this to 2) lazy.

January was mostly spent at the Borgata for the Winter Poker open where I drank a lot with @alcanthang, @scsuhockey10, and @spidurman. I also bubble +1'd the Borgata Winter Poker open PLO $400 tourney. Yes, that's right. I played for 12.5 hours, and outlasted 86 people to bust in 11th place when 9 paid. Frustrating to say the least. (Yeah, that's me in my red UMD sweatshirt at the final two tables about 45 minutes before busting). I suppose I should be happy though because I played my absolute best and was pretty much card dead throughout the entire 12 hours of the tourney. If I had just had one big hand in the last 9 hours of the tourney, I definitely would have moneyed.

The first weekend of March @alcanthang and I went down to Greenville, SC for Mastodon Weekend. I met some great new people, reconnected with old friends, finally met some people I have been talking to on twitter for awhile, did a lot of hijinking which probably should not be shared in a public forum (here's a clue, if you want the dirt, follow me on twitter), and popped my Wafflehouse cherry.

From South Carolina, I went to NJ for my 5th annual ATLarge, which was similiar to Mastodon Weekend in a lot of ways. Met some new people, chilled with old friends, and lots of hijinking.

And now, here I am for Spring Break in CT. I've been trying to figure out what to do with my life over the past few months, but it's definitely time to get serious about that. I plan to rejoin the working world in the near future...assuming I can find a job. My poker bankroll is in bad shape, and though I love many things about this lifestyle, sweating money and not having health insurance are not very enjoyable. I've decided that it's not too feasible to do this without living closer to legalized poker. At the limits I'm playing, I need to put in too many hours. Since I'm not moving to NJ or NV anytime soon, time to get a job in the meantime, get my bankroll back in good shape, and see what I want to do from there. Additionally, I really feel an urge to make the world a better place, and grinding out a living on the felt is certainly not contributing to that. Nor is it contributing to my overall intellectual satisfaction. As a matter of fact, I feel like poker has made me a rather boring conversationalist. I have certainly not spent any significant time with people outside the poker world in a long, long time.

At any rate, thanks for continuing to read, and I promise I will try to do better about posting more to my blog. I can't promise to be a @realdawnsummers or anything, but I will try.

WBCOOP

2010-01-09T08:41:00.000-08:00

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker! The WBCOOP is a free online Poker tournament open to all Bloggers, so register on WBCOOP to play.

Registration code: 526523

2009 - A Year in Terrible Quality iPhotos

2010-01-06T22:49:00.000-08:00

This is my first mobile photo of 2009. It's Princess, @onetimeforpop's Rottweiler. And I'd recognize that rug anywhere - that's the SHOP. No other place that I know of where people can play poker with an adorable dog putting her head in your lap. (1/2009)

Though I don't get to see my Dad all that often, he does consult in DC from time to time. I am the frequent beneficiary of some yummy, expensive dinners when he is in town. This was taken at a very yummy steakhouse at the new National Harbor complex, next to the scenic Anacostia River (/sarcasm). (1/2009)

In for $200, sitting on $603 at the apt (Feb 2009)

Someone might be a little tilty...look at that chip pile! (Feb 2009)

Check out those racks of pink....too bad they were worth a fraction of their value at this game... I don't remember the rotation, but this was a night of stupid poker at the apt. (March 2009)

Now, these pinks OTOH are face value. I crushed the pink o8 game at ATLARGE at the Taj in AC this year. Repeatedly. (March 2009)

Most of the month of March, I lived at the Showboat in AC (no really...I was there every day in March except for 8). I got to know the bartender at the videopoker bar right next to the poker room pretty well. My sis frequently stopped by to have some drinks after work. (March 2009)

One of my cousins got married in Tucson. A few days after the wedding, my sister, her boyfriend, and I went on a trail ride in the desert. We rode horses, but I felt obliged to take a picture of the donkey. (Apr 2009)

In May, one of our favorite bartenders at the Turtle concocted a special drink, just for me, @onafolddraw, and @bmorebilly. @onafolddraw named it the "girly man" b/c it is bright pink. It is however, delicious. Vodka, Redbull, pineapple juice, grenadine.

At the Rio in Vegas for the WSOP. @onafolddraw and I got this super pimped out suite. Note that it has a globe. We decided that the new standard for suite pimpage is "Globe? Yes/No" (June 2009)

At the end of July, I made a spontaneous pilgrimage to the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame. I drove there straight from NJ, stayed overnight, drove home the next day. (July 2009)

This bit of hilariousness was in my motel room in Cleveland. (July 2009)

Anne finally took me to go to the Baltimore Aquarium, which I had never gone to before...after living in this area for 13 years. (July 2009)

In July and August I went on a 3 week-long boat trip with my parents from Alaska, through British Columbia, and then around Washington state. It couldn't have come at a better time and was very relaxing. (August 2009)

Went to a labor day party with my sister and her boyfriend. Our contribution to the party were a million different flavors of jello shots. (August 2009)

Some time in September (a month where I spent all but 12 days at the Borgata for the Borgata Poker Open), I played my first pink o8 game at the Borgata. (Sept 2009)

And, I also played my first session of PLO at the Borgata. In for $200, cashed out over $1k this session. (September 2009)

In the middle of the Borgata Poker Open, I detoured to Foxwoods for FARGO 2009. I had a blast and made a lot of new friends. SOOOOOO glad I went. (Sept 2009)

September also saw me detour to Philly after a trip to AC to spend time w @uaegreg and his new law school friends. At one point during this night, Greg and I both looked at each other and said..."we're 30 year olds, and we're at a house party." (September 2009)

In October I detoured to Philly again for a poker game @uaegreg set up with his law school buds and an open bar night. I spent a lot of time on the road in 2009. (October 2009)

October also saw more pink crushage at the Borgata. (October 2009)

@alcanthang got this pimped out suite (alas no globe) at the Taj and I snapped this pic of the Borgata and Harrahs. (November 2009)

Thanksgiving (and my 31st bday) dinner. (November 2009)

December saw me travel to Vegas for the WPBT. Shots of Soco at the Geisha Bar with the bloggers FTW. (December 2009)

And upon my return home, I was greated with a freak snowstorm, dropping 24" of snow in my front yard, and snowing me in (literally) thwarting my lunch plans with @spidurman and my last trip of 2009 to the Borgata. (December 2009)

Closed off 2009 with another few weeks on my parents' boat. Mom and I ended up getting stuck in Vancouver for the last week of 2009, and this shelf (and gchats with a select few) helped cure massive boredom. (December 2009)

My Retirement Plan

2010-01-02T08:40:00.000-08:00

At WPBT I shared my retirement plan with @realdawnsummers and generously told her that she could be a co-author. You see, I have this idea that if I get a book of terrible-but-OK-sounding poker advice published, then not only will I have royalties, but people will play worse. It's the perfect storm of money-making, right? ;)

So at WPBT Dawn and I were constantly saying things like "Oh, that's chapter 5..." whenever someone at our table said something idiotic (full chapter list forthcoming).

This morning I awake to see this on Twitter:

realdawnsummers

@caitycaity "No, no, you gotta play for them gutshots, you gotta. If you fold, they hit." -Genius to my left: Chapter 13

Perhaps this can be a two-part chapter, or maybe we can have a whole section on gutshots and how to play them because we have to include a discussion of the "gutflush."

The "gutflush" is something made famous by MD Poker's own Rockin' Moroccan, Ali. The very first time I played with Ali, I flopped top set on a board with a gutshot draw. We get all money in, his gutshot gets there... This was several years ago, before I got divorced, and when I still used to berate bad play at the table. So Ali's gutshot got there and I start asking him WTF.

He looks me dead in the eye and says very seriously: "Well Katie, I had a gutflush."

"WTF is a gutflush, Ali? THERE WAS NOT A FLUSH DRAW ON BOARD."

"No, no...a gutflush is when you have a gutshot draw and you feel it is going to get there...in your gut."

This stunned me into silence. Not an easy feat.

These days, Ali and I joke about the gutflush, and honestly, when he is betting big in PLO, I usually give him credit. But the gutflush definitely has to be in The Book.

A Belated Christmas Gift

2010-01-01T10:45:00.000-08:00

It's been a long time since I've been at a table where someone was just trying to gift wrap their chips for me $200 at a time.

Last night, depressed about my lack of NYE options, I went to the Edgewater casino in Vancouver for some poker. Their poker room is separate from their main casino (which, frankly, is not very nice), and their seating system is very bizarre. Call-ins get first priority. (They also have NO ALCOHOL in poker room!) However, after about 30 minutes of waiting, I got a seat at a new table. Max buy was $200, which I actually generally like as I have found it encourages action. (Side note: I have found that my biggest hits at 1/2 have come at places with <$300 max, MGM in Vegas, Foxwoods back in the day, Florida...it just turns people into shove monkeys and that is a good thing.)

The first orbit at this table, my mind was blown. I have not seen such terrible poker playing in MONTHS...maybe not even all year. Several people at the table were ATC shove monkeys, and the other ones were WAY too tight. There was only one guy at the table I knew I had to be wary of. In AC, or even in Vegas, there are certainly people who play badly, but it's not usually the whole table making moves like calling with Q-high no draw for their stack (Yes, I did see that at this table).

I ended up in the ten seat, and the guy in the one seat was bullying the tighter players. More power to him, but he should have known better than to bully when some of the shove monkeys were in the hand. Twice in the first two orbits he made a giant bet on the river and then mucked without even showing after he was called. The one time he had the nuts, he bet much smaller on the river.

After about 30 minutes at the table, I got dealt QTcc on the button. There had been a standard pf raise by the one seat bully to $10, which was called in NINE spots (also standard at this gift of a table). I decided I might as well jump in with odds like those.

Flop came Q62, rainbow (one club). Bully guy bet out $15 into $90 and everyone folded except one of the rocks immediately to my right and me. We both flatted. Turn brought the 5c. Hmmmmmm... Bully bet out $25. Tight guy flatted. I raised to isolate...I wanted rocky guy to fold. Bully just called my raise, and tight guy did the speech muck. YES!

River came 3h. One seat immediately bet out $100, which was the vast majority of my remaining stack. I thought for a minute. Did he have a four? Possible but not likely. He had been seriously under-betting when he was strong. Every time I had seen him make a big bet on river, it was a bluff. He had either a busted draw or some small pair. Plus, I had basically folded every hand I got for the first 30 minutes, so I figured I was a prime target for push around the nit.

After my 30-second analysis, I called. He turned over 76o. Wooohoooooo! I was sitting on a little over $400 at that point. In the next orbit, I managed to snap him off again, with a similarly average hand, and that time when I raised on the river he just instamucked.

Shortly thereafter, he went bust and did not rebuy again. I was sitting on $600, and looked around the table. Suddenly we were 6 handed, with me and a bunch of old nits all sitting on $100 or less. I had only been playing for an hour, and decided to get up.

While happy with my profit, I found something not very satisfying in taking that money. It really was like shooting fish in a barrel. Too easy. :p

Dunno if I'm headed back there tonight. Still two days left in Vancouver.

Me and New Year's Don't Mix

2009-12-30T07:48:00.000-08:00

I kinda dread New Year's Eve every year. It seems like the best laid plans always get thrown by the wayside and NYE instead ends up with a giant clusterfuck of a problem. As a matter of fact, the only year that I can remember having a NYE that was good was 2007/2008 when I was in Vegas and I went on the biggest heater of my life playing $100/hand blackjack. Now THAT was a good NYE.

I could literally tell you about 15 "wow my NYE got really screwed up" stories...the worst one was probably the year that my friend John and I got stood up by the guy we were supposed to hang out with (who was 21...we were not). So after getting stood up, we decided that it would be a good idea to drive to Canada, where we could legally drink, and then spend some time at Casino Niagara. I think this was NYE 1997/1998. Everything went to plan until we got in a serious car accident in the middle of nowhere after running into a Buffalo storm on the way home the next day. Car got totaled, we almost got totaled....I guess the good news is that both John and I are still alive. LOL

And, so, I should not be surprised when my NYE this year looks like it will be spent stuck in Vancouver with my mom who does not drink. :p

April, Come She Will

2009-12-25T21:18:00.000-08:00

April, come she will

When streams are ripe and swelled with rain;

May, she will stay,

Resting in my arms again.

June, she'll change her tune
In restless walks she'll prowl the night;

July, she will fly,

And give no warning to her flight.

August, die she must

The autumn winds blow chilly and cold;

September I'll remember.

A love once new has now grown old.

~Simon and Garfunkel

I still owe a WPBT review. It is forthcoming.

In the meantime, I've had these thoughts about life swimming around in my head pretty much ever since Vegas. I want to record them so I can remind myself of this step on my journey, and when times in the future may not seem quite so rosy.

[Warning: brutal honesty ahead...]

The past few years have been pretty bad for me. Supposedly, divorce is one of the most traumatic life events one can go through, and mine was not even that bad. However, there was a lot of stuff leading up to it, and a lot of stuff after it that was a lot worse than negotiating the actual divorce.

But what is a bad year, really? A bad day might be you waking up on the wrong side of bed, being cranky, getting some bad news and dwelling on it. But a bad year? At that point, it's time to take some responsibility and admit that at least part of it might be your own fault, or at least your own attitude and choices. That maybe you should stop seeking short-term fixes to long-term problems.

I have always thought of myself as a supremely independent person. I like to do things my way. I like to do things without help...even at times when it would really benefit me to swallow some pride and ask for some. The past few years I've come to realize that I never really knew what independence was. I went from pretty much being my parents' child to being my ex-husband's wife. I never learned how to cope with some of the stresses of life by myself. I always had someone there to help me. The past year especially has been a bit rocky as I have learned to live more independently...how to find happiness from within myself, instead of happiness in others. After six months of really and truly living alone without another person as my crutch, I think I've finally started to find some of that independence. Happiness within myself. Acceptance of being alone instead of always running from it.

The low point in the past year was most definitely New Year's Eve 2008/2009. I spent most of that night crying, and I was so seriously depressed that I literally had to be pulled out of bed. I bailed on a New Year's Party that I paid $200 to attend because I couldn't get myself in the shower, let alone into formal wear. From that night and over the course of the year I (re)learned the lesson that some people who you think might be your friends might not actually be there for you when the chips are down. I'm definitely ending 2009 with a different group of people I consider to be my closest friends, but you know what? They were the people who were there for me over some difficult times. They were the people who stepped up when I had the courage to say "I need help" instead of the people who ran away or outright said no. Most importantly, I've learned to ask for help when I need it and not fear getting "no" as an answer. So many things have gone wrong in my life over the past two years and I've gotten through every single one of them. The sun still rises the next day, and I am still here in one piece. I have new-found confidence that I *can* get through whatever life throws at me. Confidence that, even alone, I'm going to be OK, because I learned how to be there for myself. I can pick up my own pieces and put them back together for myself. And, more importantly, I've really come to understand that some of these problems have been my own fault (or at least exacerbated by my own actions). As someone said to me: "when your hand gets sucked out on, yeah it sucks, but if you played it terribly, you have yourself to blame too." AMEN.

So, the past week, I've been reflecting on all of this, and I'm feeling really good about my future, and really positive about my life, even though I don't have a job, and don't have a lot of direction right now. I'm feeling so much better about myself as a person, and I think most of that has to do with the fact that I've found new confidence in my own abilities. I know I can face and survive pretty much anything life can throw at me, so an unknown future is a lot less unnerving.

How's that for some brutal honesty?

Happy almost 2010, peeps. I hope it's a good one for all of us. But if it's not, know that I am prepared to be there for those of you who got me through 2009. And I'm prepared to be there for myself too. :)

WPBT!

2009-12-09T23:26:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm sitting in the airport waiting to get on my flight out to Vegas for the WPBT. I missed check in on my actual flight by 5 minutes, but ended up getting rebooked on a direct flight which is fine with me. I was just chatting with @bmorebilly and he said: "Don't use up all your run good at the airport!" Yeah, I hope I don't!

But I am treating this trip like a vacation and not a work trip, so I'm hoping to have fun no matter how I'm running at the tables.

I've been a poker blogger forever, but just met up with Al at the Borgata Winter Open this past January. From there I met people during the Series like CK, Jen, and Dan. I'm looking forward to meeting people like April and Maigrey, who I've talked to on twitter for the better part of a year, for the first time.

And, well, my parents read this blog so I'll keep the rest out of here and on my twitter feed, but I'm slightly nervous that I might not be able to hang with the likes of Al for 5 days. 24 hours? Yes, no problem. 5 days.... wow. Wish me luck. LOL

Sets are a good hand, right?

2009-12-01T14:20:00.000-08:00

The last time I was set over setted in either direction was in May at Harrahs. I had a higher set over the guy to my immediate left. An orbit later, I had middle set to Travis' top set and lost the biggest pot I'd ever lost until a few weeks ago. I could've folded that hand. I almost did.

I haven't seen either side of set over set since then until my birthday last week. I had a set of aces and a set of jacks run down by open ended draws. The coup de grace was having a set of 8s vs a set of 9s on a 9-high flop shortly thereafter. I left with my tail between my legs.

Today has been terrible for me and sets. Flopped a set of kings earlier and doubled. Then I lost some of that profit when I flopped a set of 7s and got flushed. Shortly thereafter, I flopped a set of 9s on a flushy straighty board and bailed when they both got there on the turn and the betting got really heavy. Turns out I was against a flush and another guy who hit the straight. Got away from that one for $30.

Now I'm at the Borgata. Flopped the nut flush against the second nut flush and doubled, only to ship all the profit when I was on the losing side of set over set again on an A96 flop (6s vs 9s).

Sometimes poker is so brutal.

One of my favorite quotes

2009-11-24T05:47:00.000-08:00

Time to share it again:

"The most important things are the hardest to say. They are the things
you get ashamed of, because words diminish them -- words shrink things
that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than
living size when they're brought out. But it's more than that, isn't
it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret
heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love
to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only
to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what
you've said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you
almost cried while you were saying it. That's the worst, I think. When
the secret stays locked within not for want of a teller but for want of
an understanding ear." - Stephen King

Degenerate Dating Drama

2009-11-09T04:12:00.000-08:00

Wanted. Someone who gets (or at least can put up with) the life of a poker grinder, but doesn't have a gambling problem.

In the past week two separate people have asked me when I'm going to start dating, and it's devolved into a conversation about my life and relationships.

Post-divorce and post....whatever-the-hell-that-was, I've done a lot of thinking about this. It's some thinking I probably should have done two years ago...or more like ten years ago. I've realized a few pitfalls I've fallen into in the past and I'm determined not to fall in again. It's been good.

Most people are really shocked to discover I'm actually a shy person around people I don't know that well. I suffer from really bad social anxiety in new situations.

Needless to say, I've never been one to date a ton. I got married when I was 22 (divorced at 29). A friend has been trying to get me to do the online dating thing, but I don't know how ready I am to jump into something like that. Scary.

On top of this, a new problem has recently arisen. The life of the single, female, degenerate. Most guys I meet are poker players. Hell, most people I meet these days are poker players. I'm not *trying* to date a poker player...(comes with its own issues). But...I don't know that I have other venues for meeting people. I'm pretty busy between poker (i.e. work) and school. I'm on a crazy schedule where I sleep most of the daylight hours away. Meeting people while playing poker is like...hanging out with coworkers. :p

Alternatively, most non-poker playing guys I know think it's AWESOME when they first meet me that I play poker to help with the bills. They want to hear all about the WSOP events I've played in. This fascination usually lasts only until they figure out that the life of a poker player is not like the bling blang blaow video, or whatever their idea is of professional poker playing. Seriously, I think they all think it's me just hanging out rolling in money and having fun. Like I'm Phil Ivey or something. Anyone who's done low/mid stakes grinding knows that's not it AT ALL.

So after about a week or so, the FASCINATION with my lifestyle wears off and they get really fed up wondering why I'm always in AC (it's like going to the office, definitely not a 24 hour party), why I am never free on weekends (best time to make money), why I'm always asleep during the day... They get jealous of what they THINK my lifestyle is. Not to mention the complete and total difference in the way we view money (Yes, it's OK to get $300 in with 21 outs, but that doesn't mean I want to spend an extra $.50 on gas! It's DIFFERENT.) I don't know if I'm ever going to be able to find someone who understands this lifestyle that isn't a poker player, let alone someone who can put up with it. And poker isn't something I'm giving up anytime soon, though I would love to start dating again.

It's lonely out here for a girl poker player.

So yeah... Wanted. Someone who gets the life of a poker grinder, but doesn't have a gambling problem. Someone who gets that I will be in AC working a lot of the time. Someone who understands why I go on tilt from time to time. Someone who gets the difference
between getting it all in with an OESFD and lighting money
on fire on material shit. On the other hand, someone who wants to watch movies, cuddle on the couch, and rock out to music with me, too. I promise I can talk about things other than poker (I'm actually quite well-rounded)...but it's always gonna be a big part of my life.

I just saw this hand go down

2009-11-06T21:45:00.000-08:00

At pink O8. AAA6 calls all kinds of bets on flop and turn. O...M...G.

Looking for new music?

2009-10-17T08:54:00.000-07:00

I've been a music addict for as long as I can remember. I'm always on the lookout for new music, and I recently discovered a blog that archives all free itunes downloads. It's been awesome...I'm downloading a free bunch of songs every week and not forgetting about it before they expire thanks to my feed reader. Yay for free music!

Also, my friend Pete and his band "The Dusty's" rock. Go download their EP. You won't be sorry.

A Downswinging Degenerate's Guide to AC

2009-10-16T03:57:00.000-07:00

It's funny how some of us bitch and moan about spending an extra $2 on coffee but will gladly shove $$$ in on a draw or bluff. I discovered a great new "deal" in AC this past trip, so I figured I would compile a bunch of the deals I know about to share with my lucky readers. To quote: Dawn Summers, " How are you not paying me for this!" ;)

1) McCormick and Schmick's right next to the Harrah's poker room has a 10pm-12am happy hour. I love M+S, but I don't usually eat gourmet meals in AC. I think I can count the number of times I have on one hand... As far as I know, they just started doing this, but they have some great CHEAP food deals if you are a degenerate and do not eat dinner until 10pm anyways. How's about a $4 giant, fresh-made hamburger? This has to be one of the best deals in AC.

2) Free breakfast at Harrah's poker room. The first time I was in the poker room at 5am and saw them wheel in a tray filled with danishes and bagels with cream cheese I thought I must be crazy. What kind of casino gives away free stuff? Sure enough, it's a free breakfast for their players. It goes fast, but....free!!!

3) Red Door Spa at Harrah's. I love Red Door Spas. I discovered a hairdresser that I really like at the one at Harrah's (Sam). They also have one of the nicest spa areas of any fancy spa I've ever been to (including Canyon Ranch at the Venetian). Why is a spa listed under saving money at a casino? Cause you can use your comps there 1:1. You heard it here first. I've been doing it for about a year.

4) Obv...free rooms at Harrah's midweek are the nuts. People at the Borgata were so excited about $79 midweek poker rates...well, who needs that when you can get free rooms at Harrah's in their brand new Waterfront Tower, complete with flat screen tv, GIANT shower, and really comfy beds. Get a player's card and start getting offers. Seriously... I am platinum (soon to be Diamond) now, but I got offers when I was Gold too.

5) Breakfast at the deli! This is not so much a deal as something new I discovered... The Harrah's deli now does breakfast! Eggs, bacon, sausage, etc. It's not on their menu board but it is on the order yourself machines.

No, Harrah's did not pay me to write this post. I wish they had, but no...I'm just a fan. Considering they own the majority of casino properties in AC, getting a player's card is a no brainer. Do it.

Catching up on poker

2009-10-13T03:59:00.000-07:00

I've been tracking my play with the iPhone app "poker journal" since March. (Yes, there's an app for that). I first read about it on 2+2, and it's been one of the most valuable pieces of info I've found on that forum. Last year I tried tracking my play through a google docs spreadsheet which quickly became garbage in/ garbage out because who wants to log all the particular details of a really rough session when you first get home? Having tracking on my phone allows me to set everything up when I first sit at the table and keeps me honest. I recently acquired enough data to dump it into excel and do some analysis. What did I find? I'm a far more profitable Omaha player (both limit and pot limit) than NLHE. I'm a winning NLHE player, to be sure, but I make much more consistent money (and more money per average session) at Omaha. Too bad it's frequently hard to find good live Omaha games. The good news is with one exception at the beginning of my tracking, I've been in the black all year. Too bad all of that money has gone to bills.

Next up: recap of past 24 hrs in AC. If you follow me on Twitter, you can skip this section. ;) Sat down at pink O8 at the Borgata. It was a very juicy table. Nonetheless, I quickly found myself down $100 due to flopping second nuts full house and having my low counterfeited on the river. In a three way pot, I gets Nunavut. However, I clawed my way back and netted +150 that session, putting me at +100 for the day after I dropped $50 really quickly at NLHE.

Most of the fish busted from the pink game after that, so I left to go check in at Harrahs. I wish I could just move in to one of their waterfront tower rooms. Went downstairs to play some NLHE...I was SUPER card dead for 2-3 hrs. Then had "one player to a hand" violated when I had quads against top full which cost me $150. Still, I perservered. I pulled off a great all-in river bluff around hour 3 against the guy who told me two hours earlier that girls never bluff. Did not show it because I just don't think showing the bluff is a +ev move for my style of play. Around hour 4.5, I FINALLY doubled up with AA>JJ on 8 high flop. Soon after I was outta there to get some sleep.

Also of note: borgata changed their cards to some fugly Gemacos last week. The shade of red is very dark (cause of the infamous "I have a flush...oh wait I don't" incident at the Tropicana in 2006, the cards are stiff, and the face cards are ridiculously ugly. But they supposedly work better in the autoshufflers.

Harrahs also changed their cards last week but they are the "nicer" Gemacos. Very flexible and no ugly face cards. However, they are no longer superindex. (and then the peasants rejoiced!) I hate superindex cards for Holdem.

Woke up feeling good. Gonna take a long shower, get some food, and hit the tables again hoping for some more winning sessions.

Recovering from Life Tilt

2009-10-11T15:02:00.000-07:00

I allowed myself to get frustrated and tilty at some personal stuff on Monday night. I told myself after I got it together and left the table that I was on poker time-out til next Monday, to prevent myself from doing anything stupid, like angry poker. Angry poker is bad news. Angry poker makes my bank account cry.

So, I haven't played in a week. It's been hard...especially since I've been in NJ for the past few days visiting with my sister. And it was a holiday weekend and I know lots of fish were in AC. But I know it's the right thing to do. There is absolutely no point in playing on tilt. I'm feeling refreshed and ready to get back to my game.

The weekend in NJ with John and Sarah has been great. We've gone shopping in the cute little town that she and John work in. We went to an Agatha Christie play. We've bummed around drinking beer and watching football. It's been very nice.

I have a room that I booked ages ago at Harrah's Monday-Wednesday. I'm very much looking forward to my return to poker. Please, poker gods, let me run at least averagely. :)

Best Comment of the Week

2009-10-09T03:34:00.000-07:00

Because Dawn Summers is #legendary, and imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, I'm going to steal her idea of best Tweet/Comment of the week.

Though the week is not yet over, sorry peeps, voting is closed. Yesterday I noted on facebook that I had just passed a farm in rural PA called "Half Ass Farm." Without missing a beat @andrewtappan responded: "Are you at the intersection of North, South, and East Capitol Streets?" HAHAHAHAHAHA. Classic, sir. Well played.

Random trip to Gettysburg

2009-10-09T03:28:00.000-07:00

Excuse my maudlin nature earlier in the week. Soon after, I pulled myself out of slump with the assistance of some friends. I was also reminded of my own catchphrase: it could always be worse. Indeed. I have my health; I'm smart; I have awesome family and friends... everything else is just not worth worrying about (says the natural born worrier).

So, yesterday I felt the need to get out of the house. If you know me, you know I am prone to boredom and love to take little random trips. I'll wake up in the morning and think "I should drive to Cleveland to go see the RNR HOF!" It's one of my charming quirks. ;)

Ever since Al, Jen, and Dan came to DC for poker week at the end of July, I've been thinking I should really get downtown and see the new Newseum. I also have a list of things that have somehow eluded me seeing them in the 13+ years I've lived here. Did I do either one of those? No, I decided to go to Gettysburg instead.

I'm a Civil War buff and I have been since like 8th grade (here is where Billy would sing the nerd song, LOL). I've been to every major Civil War battlefield at least once, and a lot of Revolutionary ones too (thank you traveling to random places for work!). The last time I was at Gettysburg was on my high school senior class trip though, so I thought I'd give it another go. It's actually not far at all from MD...I got there in about 1.5 hours. I packed a picnic, put my convertible roof down, and set off to PA for the day.

First off, I was surprised by how crowded it was on a random Thursday in October. It was me and all the retirees, but I had to park in the third overflow parking lot. They have a new visitors center which is really nice, including a new movie with Sam Waterston and Morgan Freeman and a new set up for the cyclorama, which is really amazing.

Then I picked up the self-tour audio cds and set about driving all over the battlefield. What a great way to spend a few hours on a gorgeous fall afternoon. Recommended. If you do the self-drive, make sure you get out, especially at Devil's Den and Little Roundtop. The views of the PA countryside were amazing.

Next up on my fall random trips list: Appomattox, Skyline Drive, Monticello (which amazingly I have never been to before!)

My Week So Far (self pity edition)

2009-10-07T03:27:00.000-07:00

1) I'm having trouble finding someone to be my replacement adviser at school which means

2) I may be out of a job in December

3) At which point my $18k student loan will come due.

4) Been looking for jobs and applying to 2-3 every day for a month. I haven't gotten a single phone call yet.

5) Divorce agreement is all but Court approved...bringing all kinds of issues like "is he the only one who will ever love me" to the fore.

6) Icing on the cake: ex-friend and his girlfriend are Tweeting about how I am bad in bed.

I don't think I'm going to get out of bed today. :/

Yay for Good Music!

2009-09-26T21:53:00.000-07:00

I've recently acquired a new iPod classic that I won't be able to fill by the time it breaks... It inspired me to completely organize my music collection both in hard copy and electronically. Been ripping my entire cd collection to iTunes over the past few weeks.

One of my friends makes these awesome "Best of" cd's every year and I recently rediscovered this Nina Simone gem from his Best of 2006 album. I love love love this song.

Ain't Got No/I Got Life - Nina Simone

Ain't got no home, ain't got no shoes
Ain't got no money, ain't got no class
Ain't got no skirts, ain't got no sweater
Ain't got no perfume, ain't got no beer
Ain't got no man

Ain't got no mother, ain't got no culture
Ain't got no friends, ain't got no schooling
Ain't got no love, ain't got no name
Ain't got no ticket, ain't got no token
Ain't got no God

Then what have I got?
Why am I alive anyway?
Yeah, what have I got?
Nobody can take away

I got my hair, I got my head
I got my brains, I got my ears
I got my eyes, I got my nose
I got my mouth, I got my smile
I got my tongue, I got my chin
I got my neck, I got my boobs

I got my heart, I got my soul
I got my back, I got my sex
I got my arms, I got my hands
I got my fingers, Got my legs
I got my feet, I got my toes
I got my liver, Got my blood

I've got life , I've got my freedom
I've got life

And I'm gonna keep it
I've got life
And nobody's gonna take it away
I've got life

FARGO 2009 recap

2009-09-22T16:14:00.000-07:00

You never forget your first. I love Foxwoods. It's home to a lot of poker firsts for me. It's where I played my first live tournament, my first live cash game, my first live HORSE game... It's where I learned to play (way before I met the MD degenerates). It's where I first turned $100 into $1000. It's the first room where I knew floor people and room management by name. It's where I first fell in love with poker. All of this, combined with the fact that I'm only ever there alone makes it feel like my little (big?) corner of the poker universe. I walk from the Rainmaker garage straight to the poker room (back way, down the escalators, and through the stud and limit section) and I smile every time. I'm home.

There's a lot of things about the place that people love to hate, and it's true...there are some things that suck. Last call (at a casino!!!) at 1:30am. Dealers don't keep their own tips (they pool with the entire poker and pit). It's frequently crowded cause it's such a big room. Their comps used to really suck. They have those ridiculous buttons. But a lot of the bad about Foxwoods has changed over the past two years (buyins, rake, etc.) and there is a lot of good (cappuccinos! LOL).

Original plan was to show up on Saturday for the NL and play the Sunday HORSE because I was backed to play the O8 tourney on Friday at the Borgata Poker Open. However, I ran into some room issues and had a hold on my credit card which prevented me from booking a room anywhere for Thursday. Gave backers back their money. :( Frustrated, I figured I might as well head up to Foxwoods early since their dinner was on Thursday night. On top of that, for all the times I've been to Foxwoods, I've never once stayed in their hotel(s) because my parents live 15 minutes away. FREE room and board with people who will cook for you trumps all.

So I headed up to the dinner at Custy's thinking that this was a good time for me to get over some of my long standing social phobia. I was going to show up to the dinner by myself dammit. It would be fine.

I was expecting it to be like the smoker's dinner at ATLARGE. I showed up, met Tracy (FARGO organizer, who I'd emailed a few times), and walked into a restaurant with no bar to sit at, filled with people and their families. After some attempted conversation with a guy, his wife, and their son (who I think thought I was nuts), and 10 minutes of sitting alone thinking showing up to FARGO all by myself was a really BAD idea, I turned around and found some people I knew from ATLARGE. Goldie, Chic, Bob Lauria, and Todd (spidurman) were playing Chinese poker...for the glory. Chic (as usual) had attracted quite a crowd as people watched him set his hands. Breathing a sigh of relief, I walked over and attached myself to Chic et al, informing them that I had come to FARGO on my own. Great guys that they are, they took me into the fold and we had a great dinner where I met some new people, and was riddled with Omaha8 puzzles by Bob Lauria (what are the three boards that you will have the nuts on if your hand is 9992?).

After dinner most people stayed to play the heads up match, but I hadn't registered for it, so I just went to my parents' house.

Friday I spent mostly with my mom. We went to see Bodies: Revealed. I showed her around the giantness that is Foxwoods. After dinner at home, I went and played some cash (8/16 HORSE, 1/2 PLO).

Saturday, I got up bright and early to get to the NLHE tourney. As I was registering at the cage, one of the floor people I know came over and told the cashier to give me the lucky seat because I was his landlady and he needed a break on rent. Sadly, it wasn't the lucky seat, but I didn't do badly considering I had really awful hands (best was TT which I had to fold pf) and the structure and starting chips were kinda bad. I'm too lazy to look back at twitter to see exactly when I busted, but it was when we were down to three tables. They paid 11 (save for the bubble) and I think I busted out somewhere around 18th. Ho hum. I did have a great time though, and made some new friends based on my seat assignment (Steve and Chris, hi!).

After making it pretty deep, I stayed around to play cash. I was at 4/8 HORSE for a long time, made a bunch of money, went to 1/2 PLO, made a bunch more money, ate free comped dinner and beer, and then headed back to the poker room.

First thing I see coming through the limit side is Chris sitting at a very short 4/8 HORSE table. I sit down, we start splashing around, and in no time Tracy and some others had joined us again. We got a full table going and a full must-move (which eventually became HOREO!!! LOL). Chris and Tracy and I played drunken poker (a lot of fun!!!!) until about 2am when we all decided it was time to sleep.

Up again early Sunday for the 11am HORSE tournament. I feel that I played really well. Again, the structure was not the best, but I played a really solid game and busted out in 11th after an awful 3 hands in a row at razz. I got it in on my final hand with (24)67 against (J9)46. J946 somehow went runners perfect A, 3, 2 to make a smooth 6 (I could NOT believe it!!!) and busted me out on the bubble. Boo-hoo. If I won that hand I would have moneyed cause antes and blinds were so high at that point we were dropping like flies. *sigh*

I did not get to say goodbye to many people because they left when they busted out of the tournament and I made it to the final 2 tables, which was sad, but hopefully I'll see people again at ATLARGE. I really had a great time at FARGO and was only by myself for the first few minutes of dinner. Everyone was very welcoming!

Epiphany

2009-09-22T15:50:00.000-07:00

Today I realized just how messed up my head has been for the past year or so. Wow...divorce = so not a good place. Good news: I'm on road to recovery from past year. Making progress. Thanks to my friends and family for being there for me and helping me work my way out of my own mental fetters and reinforced insecurities. Thanks for helping me to see the light and the true state of the world.

Starting to remember that you have to be there for yourself first, before you can be there for anyone else. In the event of an emergency, please place your own mask before assisting children!

Queen high???

2009-09-15T13:05:00.000-07:00

Had a very bizarre thing happen the other day. Well, hand-wise, anyways. I have seen some truly bizarre things when it comes to the people I am playing with.

So, I was at Foxwoods this weekend for FARGO. A great time was had and I'll post a recap soon. Sunday, post-HORSE tourney, I was playing at a 1/2 NL table. I had a whole paragraph typed out here about recent (past 6 months or so) adjustments to my style of NL play, but then realized why do I want to share all of this with the world? ;) Suffice it to say that I've been experimenting recently with exploiting my usual tight image with some LAG-gy moves here and there.

So I was at a 1/2 NLHE table with some aggressive players, I had a tight image, and I decided to get a little aggro when I was dealt AKs in the cutoff. I raised to $12pf, and got heads up with the table fish (on the button). Now, this guy was a station, but he also knew how to fold if the price was right, so the flop came out J46, rainbow. He bet out $25, and I immediately check raised all in for about $150 on top. The guy sitting next to me, obviously thinking I had a monster, whispered, "get 'em, girl."

Station thinks forever and says: "$150 more? I guess I have to call." At this point I think he has a J, but hey, I have two overs, so what the hell. Hopefully he doesn't have AJ. Turn: 6 River: Q. I say, well, if you have a pair, you are good. The table is clearly shocked at this revelation, but not as shocked as me when this guy table QcTc. That's right. He called my $150 check-raise all in on a J-high rainbow board with Queen high, no draw. Then he says he thinks Queen high was good the whole way. He's not joking or trying to tilt me. I can tell he is sincere.

And all I can say about that is THANK GOD there are still people like you who sit at poker tables, sir. Please, continue to call my checkraises with Qhigh!!! LOL

Gun Shy

2009-09-09T22:34:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had such a colossal error of judgment that it leaves you wondering if you ever had any good judgment in the first place? In poker, I equate this feeling to have a really long streak of running poorly, such that it causes you to question everything you do and just feel like you forgot how to play. Maybe you even do forget how to play for a bit.

I've felt that way recently. Lots of people say "you'll learn from the experience," but I find myself wondering how I can learn from it, if I was dumb enough to be taken in so completely in the first place. Who's to say I won't be a complete sucker in the future when I didn't even realize that I was being such a sucker to begin with? In fact, I have to kind of believe that I will feel like (be) a complete sucker in the future since I obviously saw no warning signs of how duped I was. This error of judgment has me walking around on egg shells recently, afraid to do much of anything for finding myself in the same position again...leaving me with even bigger trust issues than I already had. Is putting your trust in anyone a sucker bet? Yeah, I kinda feel like it is. [As an aside: Strangely enough, the list of people I'd currently trust with my life includes my ex-husband. Go figure. (See, perhaps there's that sucker thing again).]

So world, I'm gonna play the game of life like scared money for a little bit. Til I remember that I know how to play this game and get some confidence back. Best way to do that? Booking a solid W. Gonna try to work on that one. One life win, please.

From the file of "case in point"

2009-07-26T15:37:00.000-07:00

A male friend of mine started the conversation by telling me how men are stupid, and I should stay away from them if I value my sanity. And then he proceeded to hit on me.

I can feel the hamster running in my head

2009-07-22T17:31:00.000-07:00

What do I want? This is a very good question. Someone asked me this recently and I have no idea (well, I have a macro idea, but not a micro idea...that is, I know what I want, big-picture wise, but on the specifics, ya got me). I know what I feel that I want, but then I wonder if the reason I want that is due to a current lack of security, feeling of rejection, sense of total loneliness. I wonder if the reason I want that is the nostalgia trap, and remembering the good without the bad. I wonder, I wonder, I wonder...myself into circles.

To late to turn back now, regardless of what I want, so, might as well look forward.

Ani DiFranco says it so well

2009-07-21T12:51:00.000-07:00

squint your eyes and look closer

I'm not between you and your ambition

I am a poster girl with no poster

I am thirty-two flavors and then some

and I'm beyond your peripheral vision

so you might want to turn your head

cause someday you're going to get hungry

and eat most of the words you just said

both my parents taught me about good will

and I have done well by their names

just the kindness I've lavished on strangers

is more than I can explain

still there's many who've turned out their porch lights

just so I would think they were not home

and hid in the dark of their windows

til I'd passed and left them alone

and god help you if you are an ugly girl

course too pretty is also your doom

cause everyone harbors a secret hatred

for the prettiest girl in the room

and god help you if you are a pheonix

and you dare to rise up from the ash

a thousand eyes will smolder with jealousy

while you are just flying back

I'm not trying to give my life meaning

by demeaning you

and I would like to state for the record

I did everything that I could do

I'm not saying that I'm a saint

I just don't want to live that way

no, I will never be a saint

but I will always say

squint your eyes and look closer

I'm not between you and your ambition

I am a poster girl with no poster

I am thirty-two flavors and then some

And I'm beyond your peripheral vision

So you might want to turn your head

Cause someday you might find you're starving

and eating all of the words you said

Trying to explain a technical passion to others

2009-07-15T21:03:00.000-07:00

How do you do it? Is it even possible? The things that make our passion exciting to us are hard to translate to people who haven't felt the things we feel. Among poker players, for example, it is hard to explain the soul-sucking defeat of having two outs or the absolute elation of playing a hand such that you get your opponent to put in their stack with only two outs. The non-technical translation ("That's a really good thing!") or even the somewhat technical translation ("Mathwise, I am a 90+% favorite.") really doesn't cut it. It's just one of those things that's hard to explain to others who haven't been in the trenches.

Travis recently tried to explain such a situation on his blog, and to be honest, even as someone who would like to think that she gets the game, I found his post rather boring to read (apologies, Trav). I think that has something to do with the passion. It's hard to translate that to people who don't love the game.

I manage to still have some people in my life that don't "get" poker. Even if they inquire about my play, I have learned to KISS (keep it simple, stupid) cause otherwise they get a glazed over look on their faces. Similar, I imagine, to how I felt the first time I tried to read Sklansky's "Theory of Poker."

I wish there was a way to translate the passion to people. If someone figures it out, let me know.

Things I have lost

2009-07-11T06:29:00.000-07:00

teeth
my Star Wars action figures
sleep
temper
my favorite little black dress i bought when we went to boca
money
my eyebrow
toenail(s)
moles
the contents of my stomach
hands of poker with the best hand
hands of poker with the worst hand
pets
grandparents
a husband
friends
innocence
sanity

Just Like Riding a Bicycle?

2009-06-01T07:30:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in awhile. Been busy with the end of the semester, and then busy not doing much of anything that was bloggable. I did recently see Pixar's Up! and would highly recommend it. Just be sure to bring the tissues.

I leave for Vegas to play in WSOP event #31 ($1500 HORSE) in a little more than a week. It's hopefully gonna be a great trip, and I'm really starting to get excited for it except...I haven't played live NLHE in almost two months* and I'm a bit worried about my game not being up to par. I'll actually probably play Omaha8 more than anything else while out there, but I really want to get some live action under my belt again.

A few nights ago, I was saying something to this effect and it brought up the topic: if you've been out of the saddle, do you think you need a warm up or are you cool with just showing up. Playing my A+ game takes a lot of mental warm up, so for me, I need to get out there again sooner rather than later... But I'm interested to hear what other people have to say.

*Assuming you don't count the three hands I played at the last game ever of the SHOP. Third hand, I flop a set of 9's against an obvious overpair on a QJ9 board. T on the river after all money goes in on the flop. Ugh.

Angels and demons review

2009-05-18T09:33:00.000-07:00

Blevins really wanted to see Angels and Demons, and I was curious having liked the book better than the DaVinci code. I promised him we'd go on opening night.

Without giving too much away for those who haven't seen it, I had two major problems: 1) they don't develop what should be one of the major characters nearly enough. 2) the best part of the book is all the philosophy and history. They are bit players in the movie; window-dressing.

Overall it was an average movie. I think I might have been less disappointed if I hadn't read the book.

Lou Krieger on HORSE

2009-05-09T20:33:00.000-07:00

There are a lot of dualities in poker. Some people at live poker are really annoying, yet these are often the people you want to sit with because they play badly. Being a professional player may seem like a great life, and there are a lot of freedoms, but it also comes with a lot of stresses that a "normal" job does not have.

I have long lamented the lack of books, strategy advice, etc about HORSE games and tournaments as their own entity. Of course there are several things to be read on each game individually, but there are few things that discuss the overall strategy of mixed games and tournaments. The meta game, if you will. Most of what I know on that front I have gleaned from personal experience and discussion with other players who know what they are doing on the mixed front.

On the other hand, this lack of ready information is exactly what makes HORSE games so juicy. While NLHE is probably the game that I understand the best, just because I have played far and away more hands of that compared to anything else, my relative skill level relative to my opponents is certainly much higher in HORSE.

Nonetheless, I am really happy to see that Lou Krieger is doing a new weekly HORSE column for PokerNews. The first part is available here. Second is here. I'm definitely looking forward to future columns.

Personally, I know I need improvement on the HORSE tournament front (in the middle of rereading FT's Tournament book in prep for the series). My HORSE cash game is pretty solid.

Maybe not a vampire, but close.

2009-05-09T20:02:00.000-07:00

I was gmail chatting with a friend the other day and I noted that the worst part for me about returning to a 9-5er would be waking up in the morning. I'm definitely not a morning person, though I did manage to turn into one of those people who wake up by 10am on weekends after 5 years of the 9-5 thing.

He immediately retorted with: "But you are always awake early!"

Indeed. It was 7:30am when we were chatting.

Before I could type my response he wrote again: "Oh. *Still* awake?"

Yessir. Definitely NOT a morning person. I much prefer to be able to sleep when I am sleepy and wake when I'm not.

Overheard at UMD coffee bar

2009-04-30T05:05:00.000-07:00

Girl points to terrapin shaped cookies. "why are those cookies shaped like whales?"

Deuce on the Rivah

2009-04-29T18:57:00.000-07:00

One of the local dealers' favorite hand is 7-2 and he is rather notorious for dealing a deuce on the river. You better believe I thought about him in this hand I just played.

PokerStars Game #27650335833:
Tournament #158090463, $30+$3 HORSE (7 Card Stud Hi/Lo Limit) - Level V
(75/150) - 2009/04/30 1:44:39 ET

Table '158090463 5' 8-max

Seat 1: Jim76262 (4793 in chips)

Seat 2: Sooners (4559 in chips)

Seat 3: RBPlayer71 (1895 in chips)

Seat 4: CarlyRose (1763 in chips)

Seat 5: c2d2 (1190 in chips)

Seat 6: gman3613 (3770 in chips)

Seat 7: LOUIEBOY73 (548 in chips)

Seat 8: Igotguts (5482 in chips)

Sooners: posts the ante 15

RBPlayer71: posts the ante 15

CarlyRose: posts the ante 15

c2d2: posts the ante 15

gman3613: posts the ante 15

LOUIEBOY73: posts the ante 15

Igotguts: posts the ante 15

Jim76262: posts the ante 15

3rd STREET

Dealt to Jim76262

Dealt to Sooners

Dealt to RBPlayer71

Dealt to CarlyRose

Dealt to c2d2

Dealt to gman3613

Dealt to LOUIEBOY73

Dealt to Igotguts

LOUIEBOY73: bets 75

Igotguts: folds

Jim76262: calls 75

Sooners: folds

RBPlayer71: folds

CarlyRose: folds

c2d2: raises 75 to 150

gman3613: calls 150

LOUIEBOY73: raises 75 to 225

Jim76262: folds

c2d2: raises 75 to 300

Betting is capped

gman3613: calls 150

LOUIEBOY73: calls 75

4th STREET

Dealt to c2d2

Dealt to gman3613

Dealt to LOUIEBOY73

LOUIEBOY73: bets 75

c2d2: raises 75 to 150

gman3613: calls 150

LOUIEBOY73: raises 75 to 225

c2d2: raises 75 to 300

Betting is capped

gman3613: calls 150

LOUIEBOY73: calls 8 and is all-in

5th STREET

Dealt to c2d2

Dealt to gman3613

Dealt to LOUIEBOY73

c2d2: bets 150

gman3613: calls 150

6th STREET

Dealt to c2d2

Dealt to gman3613

Dealt to LOUIEBOY73

c2d2: bets 150

gman3613: calls 150

RIVER:

Dealt to c2d2

c2d2: bets 150

gman3613: calls 150

SHOW DOWN :

c2d2: shows
(HI: three of a kind, Aces)

gman3613: mucks
hand

c2d2 collected 1034 from side pot

LOUIEBOY73: shows
(HI: four of a kind, Deuces)

LOUIEBOY73 collected 1794 from main pot

No low hand qualified

SUMMARY:

Total pot 2828 Main pot 1794. Side pot 1034. | Rake 0

Seat 1: Jim76262 folded on the 3rd Street

Seat 2: Sooners folded on the 3rd Street (didn't bet)

Seat 3: RBPlayer71 folded on the 3rd Street (didn't bet)

Seat 4: CarlyRose folded on the 3rd Street (didn't bet)

Seat 5: c2d2 shows
and won (1034) with HI: three of a kind, Aces

Seat 6: gman3613 mucks

Seat 7: LOUIEBOY73 shows
and won (1794) with HI: four of a kind, Deuces

Seat 8: Igotguts folded on the 3rd Street (didn't bet)

How many times do I need this confirmed...

2009-04-27T18:06:00.000-07:00

Failed miserably at one WSOP step 1 tourney (due to this stupid hand) and bubbled (got a second chance step 1 ticket) in the other. Net: -$7.50.

Played 1/2 LO8 cash game. Net: +$43.

This is why I prefer cash to tournaments...

I can't be the only one who does this

2009-04-27T15:45:00.000-07:00

The last time I was on a boat, we sat and cloud watched for a long time, pointing out clouds that looked like various objects. I remember seeing one that very distinctly looked like Falcor from Neverending Story.

Right now there is a bug smear on my windshield that looks exactly like a seahorse.

I wonder what Rorschach would have to say about all this.

I have had several strange dreams recently

2009-04-27T09:39:00.000-07:00

But this one was particularly graphic...I woke up disoriented and everything. So, I'm in a grocery store, shopping for bread. They have a huge selection of bread, but not the one I want. The one I want is open and missing about half of the loaf. I'm standing there, trying to decide what to do when a Nazi (in full SS uniform) comes up and starts harrassing me and this old guy near me. Finally, he takes the old guy away and I run out of the grocery store, jump in my car, and speed away.

Who knew...Nazis in grocery stores.

Get Katie a job, win a _______.

2009-04-26T07:36:00.000-07:00

I stole this title from a friend of mine's AIM status. He had been looking for a job for the past 5 months and just recently found a great one. Instead of a blank, his said "Find Drew a job, win a pizza." I'm willing to spring for more than pizza. Free bar tab for the night, perhaps?

I have been actively looking for a job for the past few weeks. I forgot how awful the job hunt was. When I got my first "real" (i.e. with benefits) job out of college, it took me almost 6 months of sending out 10 resumes a day and several interviews to finally get hired. Now that I have some real experience, I figured it would take less time, but I guess I underestimated how bad the economy is. I was looking at jobs on Craigslist the other day and even the PT food service jobs say things like: "barista with 3 years of Starbucks experience wanted" and "Quiznos hiring experienced sub makers." It's actually the last post that pushed me over the edge and made me write this post. Experienced sub makers??? Really???

Ideally I would like a part time job, but I'm coming to the realization that a full time job is probably going to be a lot easier to land.

It is 100% true that it is easier to find jobs through connections than cold calls, so if you know of something for the summer, please let me know. I'm a hard worker and I don't mind doing dirty, boring, or mindless work. I'm fairly certain that everyone I've ever worked for would give me a stellar recommendation. Also, I'm not limiting myself to the DC area. I'm very open to the possibility of relocating for the summer. And I'll happily work for as little as $10/hour (depending on the job, obviously).

So... help me get a job, win a pizza, bar tab, trip to the movies... fill in the blank.

Battle scars and an overly honest self-assessment

2009-04-19T23:07:00.000-07:00

I haven't written in a long time. Part of that is because this is in no way an anonymous blog and a lot of what I would like to post recently would really be better posted in an anonymous or semi-anonymous blog (I kinda thing I should keep a diary for my eyes only sometimes). Part of it is being busy with other things. Part of it is just not being motivated to write.

I read this post in one of the blogs I follow this morning. It echoed a lot of my own sentiments of late. Battle scars... starting to come to terms with a lot of those and wondering how or if I will ever get past them.

I talk a lot. If you know me well, you might not believe that I am actually pretty shy and socially awkward. I embarrass easily. I'm really too sensitive (though significantly better than I used to be). To make matters worse, the sensitivity leads me to be ridiculously paranoid at times. But then other times, I overcorrect; assume I'm being paranoid when I'm actually not. This is why I am very glad to have impartial friends who can say: "no you weren't out of line there" or "yeah, you are overreacting." Jeff and I had our issues, but he was good at being my wall on a lot of these things.

Battle scars from friendship and relationship battles... I feel like such a ball of neuroses at times, I wonder how I am ever going to have a good relationship* with anyone ever again. If I am even capable of that. I feel so far out of normal compared to most people right now. I have trust issues. I have intimacy issues (can't really let anyone get too close, cause what if I get hurt?). A lot of what people take as aloof is really me just pretending to the world that I don't care, cause I really care, probably too much, and I can't admit that now, can I?

I normally don't like writing posts like this cause people like my mother then read them and worry about me. I'm OK, Mom, really. At least OK as I've been the past 30 years. :) Just part of me still trying to figure out who I am, post 10-year relationship.

*PGALC's notion of a what she is looking for in a good relationship and I 100% agree with her: "I'm not cut from the same cloth as
most women. I'm fine with not getting married or having children-- I'm
not opposed to those things, but they aren't things I'm seeking out.
I'm looking for a life partner-- a partner in crime even. Someone to
share in my shenanigans and adventures. To run off to Europe for a
month or to just sit in pajamas all day Sunday and watch House reruns." Shit. Who doesn't want that?

Pat on the back

2009-04-16T13:02:00.000-07:00

I know no one wants to read bad beats or self-congratulation, but I need to stop and take a moment to pat myself in the back...I've consistently been able to make some folds I never couldve a year ago. Yay me.

Random Thoughts on AC

2009-03-18T07:50:00.000-07:00

1) I have been in three different hotel rooms in the same hotel over the past week, and all three have had different fixtures. One had an awesome tub, one had a horrible shower head (like top five worst I've ever seen, and I've seen a lot of hotel rooms), and the one I'm in now has an average shower head and a different tub than either of the first two. I also think it should be mandatory to have a double sink in every hotel room with two beds, but hey - what do I know?

2) Yesterday marked only the second time I've ever been given keys to a room that was already occupied. So now I'm in a not as nice room, but I guess I'm paying $13/night so can't complain.

3) You hear a lot about the NJ Casino Control Commission, but I actually saw one of their uniformed officers in the Showboat poker room last night, checking things out.

4) Thank god for my ipod. I have never done a good job of tuning people out very well without it. Plus, alleviates boredom.

5) I need to remember that there is such a thing as fold equity. I need to play certain hands more aggressively. I was doing really well with this last week and then somewhere between Sunday and last night fell into my old trap of not driving the action in any given hand. Need to get back to this.

I am destined to bubble...sigh

2009-03-18T07:09:00.000-07:00

League tourney standings. I bubbled after overplaying a hand in Stud. I still lack the feel to know when certain hands are good heads up in Stud high. I gotta get in a lot more hands before this summer...and maybe re-read a few chapters in some of the books I own. To make matters worse I am now 1 point out of the top 8 (top 8 bubble!!!). Hopefully I can remedy this next week.

When in doubt, place a phone call

2009-03-17T12:21:00.000-07:00

I'm on my way up to AC for spring break... Harrahs loves me for some reason, and I can usually get free rooms Sunday-Thursday but in checking their website last night, it looked like they wanted me to pay $200. Thinking that was still not bad for the rest of the week, I decided to head up but was having difficulty on their website with my phone so I called...and got a free room for the whole week! (side note: bad economy= better perks for players; case in point, Harrahs is offering 3x comps mid week all march) Yeehaw. Will be in ac at Showboat at least til Friday afternoon...still undecided if I'll still be there through Sunday or if I'm gonna head home for a few days.

And oh yeah...happy st. Patricks day!

ATLARGE this weekend - hooray!

2009-03-10T12:42:00.000-07:00

I will be on the road a lot on the next few weeks... leaving tomorrow for ATLARGE in AC (spring break for degenerates, as I like to call it), then my cousin's wedding. I've been playing good and running pretty averagely overall recently, so I hope the trend continues on both fronts while in AC. I play the ATLARGE tournaments like donkaments, but I would like to try to make some $$$ at the cash tables. I managed to freeroll my tourney buyins last night at the Monday game, so I'm happy about that.

Poker Terms

2009-03-08T10:36:00.000-07:00

A lot of my non-poker friends (especially my mom) are continuously amused/baffled/exasperated by poker terminology they don't understand.

I came across this site today: http://pokerterms.com/ Maybe it will help people.

Yes, FINALLY, a poker related post again!

2009-03-06T03:04:00.000-08:00

I haven't been posting about poker recently for a couple reasons. Not because I don't have anything to say or because I haven't been playing, though I did take a hiatus from many of the local games for awhile. I have been playing up in AC with 4 trips there already since Jan 1 (all of which at least covered expenses, most of which made me some money on top of that). Happily, after getting my head on straight at most local games, I have booked wins at the last several no limit local games I have played, as well. I actually have gotten quite a few good idea for posts recently but
have chosen not to either due to lack of time, or for other reasons.

But I digress.

I've been trying to take poker more seriously (with varying degrees of success) for the past year+. Part of this means tracking sessions. I've been doing this for the past year+ also (again with varying degrees of success). When I got my iphone, I was really excited and had dreams of all the things I'd easily be able to record since I would have my phone with me at the table, instead of having to record things in my spreadsheet at the end of a session. Sadly, the functionality of google docs in iphone land is the one google/iphone app that just SUCKS.

Then I stumbled upon this post from Otis. $12.99 is a lot for an app, but this app literally does almost everything I would include if I was designing this app myself. It is awesome. When playing, it will record time live if you hit an on/off switch, or you can retroactively import stuff. And it is customizable. It also shows you charts of your play which you can filter by game, limit, etc.

Anyways, to anyone with an iphone who is interested in tracking their play, I recommend this app!

Things I (surprisingly) use a lot

2009-03-05T11:35:00.000-08:00

...when cooking:

1) my mandolin (slicing veggies)

2) stick blender

3) kitchenaid mixer

Attn: GVPT quantitative methods people

2009-02-19T08:34:00.000-08:00

If you need a quant class to meet your 12 credits and you can't find anything past Maximum Likelihood Estimation in GVPT, let me highly, HIGHLY recommend EDMS 771 (especially if it is taught by Dr. Andre Rupp). It is especially useful if you are a behaviorist.

I'm taking this class this semester and it has me excited about stats again. No tests, but we have homework sets every other week and short statistical critique essays on alternate weeks (which are actually fun to write - yes I know I'm a nerd). Just like most GVPT classes (and MLE), we have a final research paper using a method we learned as well. The class is taught in a very straightforward manner with powerpoints that are sent ahead every week and forced (but non-graded) practice work in class. We have lab work in SPSS but he doesn't care if you use STATA or R.

Quote of the Day

2009-02-18T12:43:00.000-08:00

"The flip side of freedom is uncertainty." - My friend Maren, who is in my program at UMD, in response to one of my facebook updates today.

If you don't understand my jaded outlook on politics

2009-02-05T11:16:00.000-08:00

Turn on cspan and follow senate debate on the stimulus bill.

I Am Pleased...mostly

2009-01-30T00:15:00.000-08:00

My schedule this semester:

Monday: Nothing

Tuesday: Show up and sit there from 11-12 for the class I am TA-ing

Wednesday: Nothing

Thursday: Show up and sit there from 11-12 for the class I am TA-ing

12:30-3:15 elective I am taking on public policy which should hopefully be entertaining
4:15-7 painful stats class that I am forced to take after previous class got canceled

Friday: Nothing

Assuming my brain is still functioning for the stats class, I think everything will be OK (more than OK, since I have 3.5 days off)

Worst play in poker

2009-01-21T19:19:00.000-08:00

It seems recently I have run into more glass tappers than I ever have before in playing. It doesn't matter if it's live or online, people are tapping (or more like smashing with those emergency glass breaker things).

A few days ago online someone actually started trying to teach. It got so bad that I asked them what the heck they were doing and the guys said: "I want him to play better."

Do you realize how idiotic this is? How the heck is anyone supposed to make any money based on skillful play if the idiot at the table suddenly stops being so much of an idiot. This is poker 101; you make money based on others' mistakes.

Alternately, please don't make fish at the table feel unwelcome. Putting someone on tilt as part of your game is one thing, but when you do it so much they leave the game, your hands are in my wallet. Please get them out.

Rufus Wainwright c/o Leonard Cohen

2009-01-20T03:17:00.000-08:00

I've heard there was a secret chord

That David played, and it pleased the Lord

But you don't really care for music, do you?

It goes like this

The fourth, the fifth

The minor fall, the major lift

The baffled king composing Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Your faith was strong but you needed proof

You saw her bathing on the roof

Her beauty

in the moonlight

overthrew you

She tied you

To a kitchen chair

She broke your throne,

she cut your hair

And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Maybe I've been here before

I know this room, I've walked this floor

I used to live alone before I knew you

I've seen your flag on the marble arch

love is not a victory march

It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

There was a time you'd let me know

What's real and going on below

But now you never show it to me do you?

Remember when I moved in you?

The holy dark was moving too

And every breath we drew was hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Maybe there's a God above

And all I ever learned from love

Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you

It's not a cry you can hear at night

It's not somebody who's seen the light

It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Vegas book?

2009-01-12T20:15:00.000-08:00

Anyone have any recommendations of a book detailing the history of Vegas? I've read several good ones on London and I'm looking for the same kind of thing.

In the middle of the $3k HORSE...

2009-01-11T18:47:00.000-08:00

Keep your fingers crossed for me.... (For those who don't know, I'm c2d2)

Today's Annoyance

2009-01-11T13:34:00.000-08:00

People who do not offer full feed RSS feeds for their blogs.

If you have a blog and only offer a one-sentence snippet (or worse yet, nothing at all) through RSS, I will stop reading your blog. I just don't have time to sift through all the blogs I read using anything other than google reader. I'm not going to click through.

So, if you have a blog and you care about people reading it...you might want to change your settings.

Anyone know of any women's charities?

2009-01-11T10:33:00.000-08:00

I'm finally getting rid of some of the suits in my closet that I haven't worn in almost three years and am looking to pass them on to a group that helps women who are struggling get jobs. I knew of a group like this in NY. Anyone know of anything like this in DC metro?

Shout out to Truckin'

2009-01-05T12:45:00.000-08:00

Long ago, I used to be a prolific short story writer. I even won an award or two for some of my stories. It's something I would like to get back into, but between school, and catching my breath from school, I don't have the time. I do really look forward to each installment of Truckin, though. I found Pauly through his poker writing, but reading these short stories are worth your while too, and largely devoid of poker content for those who have no idea what I'm talking about when I write things like: "Playing TPOC like it's the nuts is not +EV."

Simon and garfunkel

2008-12-25T10:00:00.000-08:00

Jammin out to Simon and Garfunkel with Sarah on the cross-Bronx expressway. She picked it and we're listening to her iPod which is kinda funny since I went through my Simon and garfunkel playlist on Friday on the way to ac.

My band used to sing a lot of s+g and we were known for our thee part harmony. I did the arranging and I usually put the standard 3rd below and then I would sing the rather unconventional 5th above which lent a very floaty, ethereal sound to a lot of the folk we sang. Rebecca and I used to do a really cool version of kathy's song with just the melody and the 5th above which sounded amazing.

Two observations: I can't hit the high 5th like I used to when I was 16, AND quite a few Simon and garfunkel songs are about relationships that have failed. Guess that's why three angsty teenage girls liked to sing their stuff.

Xmas wrap up

2008-12-25T08:54:00.000-08:00

I'm currently headed down 95S with my sister, who was nice enough to drive me to my parents' house. I don't like taking the train for Christmas because you have to handle your own luggage and I always have a bunch of unwieldy stuff on my way back.

I got a lot of books off my wishlist this year; I'll be posting reviews soon.

I also got a lot of giftcards to various places like the Greene turtle, olive garden, iTunes, and starbucks, so I guess I will be eating well.

I also got a pair of awesome slipper socks which are excellent because I hate wearing shoes in the house and my feet are always cold. I'm actually wearing them right now in the car.

Santa also somehow knew I've redeveloped my affinity for bonne bel cheeses (which I used to LOVE as a snack when I was in elementary school).

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-24T06:14:00.000-08:00

I have always loved this commercial; it makes me smile. Merry Christmas, Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men (and Women) and all that good stuff...

"Here comes lady luck"

2008-12-20T09:15:00.000-08:00

That's what a guy said to me when I first sat down at a table at the Trop. And then I was 40 bucks away from doubled within 30 minutes... Was liking my table, and then a funny thing happened: I found myself utg with kk.

I made it $12 and got 6 way action. Flop comes 6J4, rainbow. I bet 45 and most people fold,except 1 guy who pit out a quarter, and is then informed that I said 45, not 25...but since he put the 25 out it's a call. He looks unhappy until the turn us a jack and I have to puke fold... He shows qj.

Bulemic at the Borgata

2008-12-19T13:49:00.000-08:00

At the Borgata, playing 1/2NL. I have been card dead, in addition to bleeding some chips when I flopped a straight flush draw that left me with A high and another hand where I ran AQ into 72 (shout out to Kenny) on a 2Q2 flop. I've been playing for about 1.5 hours though, and even with these hands I am only down around $100. I've been playing well and not getting crazy.

In MP, I look down and see pocket threes. Several limpers ahead of me, so I limp too. Rock in the cutoff raises to $12. I'm all set to fold until everyone calls behind. Oh look: flop is 7x3, all hearts. I bet out at flop, about half the pot. Rock thinks, then raises. Fold, fold, fold... I think. Rock has not been raising AK or AQ type hands. I put him on big pair with a heart. I shove, he calls. I'm happy to note that he does not look happy about calling. Even happier when he turns over AdAh. NO HEART!

I'm thrilled to see a black 7 on the turn, until the river is also a 7, and then I want to puke. One guy at the table says: "What happened??? Why didn't you get that pot? I thought you had a boat?" Yessir, but 7's full of aces beats 3's full of sevens, according to Hoyle.

I have about $50 behind, and steal some calls of a small raise when I shove with AcQc a few hands later and everyone folds to me. I'm up to around $75 when I look down about an orbit after the disastrous 3's full hand and see Ah7h...lots of limpers, so what the hell, I raise. Get 4 callers. Flop is Ac2h8h. Guy in EP bets out, I shove for the rest of my small stack. Everyone folds except for EP guy. He turns over AQ of black. I'm really liking the black 7 turn...until a black 8 rolls off on the river.

"That's two hands you've been counterfitted right in a row," says a guy who means well but is annoying the crap out of me. ORLY? I didn't notice. /sarcasm

Well, I set out to play good this trip, and I have, so far. Hopefully I can turn it around. Gonna finish submitting my students' grades and then head to Caesars or the Trop. Hopefully I can turn my luck around...at least I can say I'm happy with my play.

I assume my last paper was a good one...

2008-12-18T11:35:00.000-08:00

I've been sweating my contemporary theory grade all semester. I got a B- on my first paper, which is the worst grade I've gotten on anything since undergrad and in grad school is considered failing. I'd actually put a lot of time in on this paper, so I was somewhat upset.

Next paper, I put in considerably less time but managed to get an A-. I don't know what I got on my third paper, but...

My grade just posted on testudo, and somehow I got an A- in the class. Three cheers for me, I am very pleased.

I also found out that I got an A- on my last paper for my Survey class, so assuming I didn't tank the take home final (which I don't think I did), I have an A- in that class too.

Now just got to keep my fingers crossed for game theory.

Know Someone Who Needs...Anything?

2008-12-16T05:11:00.000-08:00

I have the next six weeks completely free and besides needing something to fill my time, I could really use some money. I've been looking and applying for retail part time jobs for the past month or so with no success. Next semester I have a very flexible schedule, so if you need to hire someone for more than a month and a half, we could work something out.

But in the short term, I can really do anything. I used to babysit a lot and was Red Cross certified. I can dogsit. I can clean. I can do receptionist type stuff. Two years ago I was the receptionist for a state Senator. I also used to have to deal with federal government clients, and before that I did IT help desk work, so I'm confident that I can interact with people positively and professionally.

I'm easily trainable and I have plenty of references. My most current resume can be found here.

Feedburner = the awesome

2008-12-15T08:16:00.000-08:00

I've had google analytics enabled on my blog for quite some time. A little over a year ago, google bought out feedburner and then made many of their services free. So, I've been sprucing up the old blog and set up a feedburner account...and I can't rave about it enough. If you have a blog and you are interested in more than just posting your latest diatribes, you might want to check it out.

Slumdog Millionaire

2008-12-14T17:49:00.000-08:00

Go see it. Some of the parts are somewhat contrived and Bollywood isn't for everyone, but I thought it was a really good movie. I liked the flashback style they used and I'm generally a fan of Danny Boyle's work. Plus, who doesn't love Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

Looking for recommendations

2008-12-14T16:54:00.000-08:00

I have the next six weeks to do whatever I want to do, no strings attached. I'm getting ready to go to bed in a bit and it feels so great to know this is the first Monday in forever I don't have to set an alarm to be up by 9am. Nope, I can sleep as late or as early as I want. If I don't want to get out of bed...don't have to.

Anyways, I'm looking for some good fiction. I have a bunch of non-fiction to catch up on already.

I like Dan Brown/Steve Berry type books, as well as historical fiction. I've read all Harry Potter books upon their release. Neal Stephenson's Baroque Cycle trilogy is probably the best bunch of books I've read in the past 5 years. James Michener is probably my all time favorite author, and I have a soft spot for Kurt Vonnegut. This is starting to sound like a personals write up so I'll stop.

Please leave recommendations in the comments.

WBCOOP

2008-12-14T12:25:00.000-08:00

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker!

This PokerStars tournament is a No Limit Texas Hold’em event exclusive to Bloggers.

Registration code: 975779

Remembering Vietnam: The Wall at 25

2008-12-10T18:09:00.000-08:00

When I lived downtown, I used to frequently visit museums, memorials, and parks. Jogging or walking to a lot of these places, with my trustee walkman (this was in the days before ipods) was my thinking time. One of my favorite places to go on these jaunts was to the Vietnam Wall, not just because it was a straight shot down 23rd street, but because it was so moving to see other people in their experience interacting with the wall, and a moving monument in its own right. My favorite time of the day has always been dawn and that was definitely my favorite time to jog down to the wall...POW/MIA vendors just setting up their stalls, but mostly empty, peaceful, and quiet.

I was reminded of one of my favorite thinking spots again tonight while I watched this show on the Wall on the Smithsonian channel (one of my favorite tv channels these days). I knew most of the stuff on the show, but it was well done, and worth checking out if you get a chance.

maybe i should read my horoscope at the beginning of the day instead of the end...

2008-12-09T16:31:00.000-08:00

"Suppressed feelings can be transformed into compulsive actions all
around, so it may be a good time to question motives, both your own and
others'. If you just have to do or say it, perhaps you shouldn't."

ha ha ha

Bolt

2008-12-02T11:39:00.000-08:00

I watch a lot of animated films that most "adults" probably wouldn't. I have every Disney movie available (the classics, not the ones like Cinderella 2) on DVD, and I'm not ashamed to admit that I like most of them.

I really wanted to go see Bolt when I was home for Thanksgiving, but I don't think my Mom and Dad were on board with it. ;) So, I went yesterday, and even with relatively high expectations, I was pleasantly surprised. Bolt is a great movie... It's renewed my faith in Disney post-Pixar. I would really recommend it to just about everyone I know. I would even say it's the best Disney animated feature since Nemo (5+ years ago).

Plus, for music lovers, Jenny Lewis (one of my favorite currently recording singers) does a song for the movie that was really pretty good.

Oh yeah, it also made me get on Petfinder again and look at doggies. :)

Anyways, go see it.

Foxwoods trip report 11/28-9

2008-11-29T04:10:00.000-08:00

Last night after dinner I headed out to Foxwoods. I ended up leaving about 8 hours later after one heck of a roller coaster up $15. That however, is a win. I won't share a bunch of bad beat stories, but...other people were getting lucky. I did run into this guy I know from my Summer at the 'gata: Jared. He somehow managed to cash out almost $3k at our table. So...it did end up a good table. I was sad to have just made $15.

Some changes:

1) Increased comps! Two different floor people told me comps had been raised to $1.50/hr. Considering it used to be a piddling $.50/hr back in the day, this is a good sign. I think they are starting to feel some competition from Mohegan Sun's new room.

2) No more time at 1/2NL. They were raking max 4 plus 1 for the jackpot instead of taking $5 time. They still take time at the higher NL games. I know this is something that is a direct result of Mohegan Sun.

3) Table swipe in for comps are up and running (just like at MGM in Vegas). This means I had to go get a new Dream card (instead of Wampum Rewards) for the table. However, Now I am much more likely to not forget to clock out like I used to ALWAYS do.

4) I don't know if I just got unlucky or what, but the action at my table was the tightest I have ever seen at a Foxwoods 1/2 table for the first hour or two. It played a lot more like the Borgata, so still not bad, but not like the woods at all. A player who I have played with before who was at my table and a dealer said the action has been dampered by the economy. However, two hours later, the action picked up to the same old fishiness. There were certainly fewer people at the casino on a holiday weekend, but it wasn't empty either. They had the remains of a tournament going upstairs because all their downstairs tables were occupied. And by full I'd just like to point out that they are a 100+ table room.

Tonight: I might check out Mohegan Sun's new room, though I heard from many people up here whose opinion I trust that it's nothing special. I might go there in the early evening and then head over to the place that makes me smile.

Happy Thanksgiving

2008-11-27T13:53:00.000-08:00

We had a free-range turkey that my parents' brined this year, and it was probably the best turkey I have ever had. Really moist, and the texture was really meaty, almost like a pork chop or something.

Why free-range? My dad drives by a turkey farm on his way to work every day. He said it's really something because there are thousands of turkeys just chillin day after day...Until one day when there were absolutely no turkeys! After hearing this story we were making all kinds of inappropriate jokes about mass turkey-apocalypse. There were jokes about turkey desaparecidos, turkey rapture, turkey genocide. Yeah, these are all hilarious things to joke about, but if you know my family, you know we have a weird sense of humor.

My dad also made some vanilla ice cream to go with the pies for dessert and it was seriously the best ice cream I have ever had...perfect!

Thinking about going downstairs for a little snack of turkey sandwich in a sec...

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Everything is relative

2008-11-25T12:29:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is my 30th birthday. Over the course of the past few months I have ranged the complete gamut from indifference to frustration over this, which is kind of surprising, really. Age usually does not bother me. To quote Billy: "age is just a number, boo."

It is a fact of human nature that people fall into a nostalgia trap when thinking about the past. I was getting all set to write about how happy and carefree I was at 25 when I sat back and thought about it again. The issues I had then were different than the issues I have now, but I still had issues. In terms of a positive/negative life balance, honestly things were probably about the same.

Divorce is hard (obv). You get used to having someone else around 24/7, even if you're not having a lot of meaningful interaction. After 8 years of living with someone, it's a lot harder than I thought it would be to live alone. I used to love my alone time. This is probably the hardest part, and it blind-sided me.

On top of that, you start to examine all of your own faults that led to this situation and start viewing yourself as a flawed person. And then you alternately worry that there is no one out there for you, and even if there is and you do find that person, that somehow you will fuck it up (again) which will make you feel like a double failure. And I know I caused a lot of hurt, and I'm afraid to put myself or another person through that again.

Add to this the fact that I'm struggling with "Wow, I'm really 30? I was supposed to have 2 kids by now." and "Wow, I'm really 30? Why am I worried about paying my bills and being able to afford to put a roof over my head? That is bohemian when you are 22. At 30 it's like, go get a real job." and also "Wow, I'm really 30? I'm actually going to have to come to grips with the fact that half of my life could be over." combined with the "Wow I'm really 30? What the heck did I do with the last 30 years of my life?"

I think this philosophy class I've had to take this semester is making me unnecessarily philosophical. At any rate, I guess I'm going to be a real adult in a few short hours. LOL

Smile rehashed

2008-11-24T02:58:00.000-08:00

I've been very delinquent in posting recently. Believe it or not there are just some things that even I do not feel like sharing. ;) I've also been busy with school until recently...I have a few ideas for posts, so stay tuned.

In the meantime, please pardon the repost (though how many of you were reading this back in 2005 anyways?). I put in Brian Wilson's Smile album this morning on my way to school and realized (again) how much I like a few songs on that album). Please refer to my review from 2005 (have I really been blogging that long?!?) Also, must give a shout out to John...there's some killer cello on "good vibrations" that made me think - "hey I wonder if John has listened to this album?" Have you???

Brian Wilson's "Smile"

We used to fly out to my grandparents' house in Washington and then use their minivan to take THE GREAT AMERICAN VACATION a la National Lampoon. Found memories of that time include attempting to drive the minivan through the Chandelier Tree (we barely squeaked through, but don't ask my dad about what happened in the gift shop), driving from northern Washington to Southern California in 2 days, and eating at what must have been every Denny's on the west coast.

I first heard the Beach Boys in my grandparents' minivan on one of these summer vacations when I was about 13. My grandparents' had a Beach Boys "Greatest Hits" cd and it was (to my 13 year old ears) the best thing to listen to when compared to the other cd's in their car (I definitely remember some Glenn Miller, Boxcar Willie and a compilation of classic country called "Wagon Wheels"). We used to listen (and sing along) to the Beach Boys cd on repeat until my parents had enough and insisted on something else. Listening to those songs still reminds me of those roadtrips.

I am not a Beach Boys FAN, though I like their music well enough. I'm a Beatles person. I liked the Beach Boys harmonies and arrangements, but the lyrics lost me. I picked up "Pet Sounds" in college and thought it was ok, but not one of the best albums of all time. For some reason "Pet Sounds" didn't speak to me like many Beatles albums did. I bought "Smile" after it caught my eye when I was Christmas shopping. The fact that I waited to listen to it until recently belies my lack of Beach Boys enthusiasm and also that I was really a little afraid after hearing some more recent Brian Wilson efforts. Ouch. I didn't even know about "Smile"'s dark history until reading the liner notes.

At any rate, from this perspective, I think "Smile" is an eminently listenable album. And it is an ALBUM, better when listening to it all at once. In addition to awesome harmonies and arrangements, it has the same kind of Americana feel that early Beach Boys songs have, just more mature. With lyrics like: "Ribbon of concrete, just see what you've done/Done to the church of the American Indian" these lyrics are certainly deeper than "Well I saved my pennies and I saved my dimes/For I knew there would be a time/When I would buy a brand new 409". "Smile" has it's fair share of low points ("Vega-tables" comes to mind, along with a re-do of "Good Vibrations" that doesn't match the excitement of the original version, and the instrumental "Mrs. O'Leary's Cow" which hurts my ears), it's still good music. "Wonderful", "Our Prayer", "Heroes and Villians", and "Roll Plymouth Rock" are some of my favorites. It's pretty obvious that the backing vocals are not the original Beach Boys, and that Brian Wilson has lost some of his voice (hey the dude is in his 60's and sang the songs in the original key which is pretty amazing in and of itself), but it's still good music. And in case you are afraid, it is WAY better than any of Wilson's other solo stuff.

Last 5 songs played on my iPod:
Good Vibrations - The Beach Boys
Because - The Beatles
La Vie En Rose - Edith Piaf
Wonderful - Brian Wilson
Surfing on a Rocket - Air

Best schedule ever next semester

2008-11-07T09:24:00.000-08:00

I just found out yesterday that I got my first choice pick for TA assignments next semester. I'm going to be TAing an undergrad class on quantitative methods with a new hire we made this year. I can hardly wait!

Also, looks like I will only have classes Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, so I'll have Mondays and Fridays off. :D Next semester is probably my last semester of classes...now to come up with a dissertation topic.

Better late than never (election predictions)

2008-11-04T08:02:00.000-08:00

Electoral College: Obama 311, McCain 227

Popular vote: Obama 54%, McCain 46% (I don't think any of the 3rd party candidates are gonna make it to 1%)

NBC/MSNBC first network to call at 12:01am, 11/5

Senate: Dems 56 (excluding Independents)
No predictions on the House, haven't been following any of those races...

Maryland Question 2 (slots): Pass
California Prop 8 (gay marriage ban): Fail
(These are both so close, my predictions here are probably more wishful thinking than anything else)

A lot of people I know have Obama doing better in the EC than me. It's quite possible he could win Florida. He also has a (lesser) chance in North Carolina. I would be surprised if he won Missouri, Arizona, Indiana, Georgia, Montana, or North Dakota, though I know these states are supposedly in play.

I am in class til 9:30 tonight, but you can bet after that, I'll have my butt firmly planted in front of a tv somewhere.

I found a summer job (kinda)

2008-10-29T05:52:00.000-07:00

My application for teaching in the summer got accepted, so I'll be teaching my own course in the second summer session (end of July-August). The other exciting news is that it is a class I designed myself (based on a syllabus I had to do for a "Teaching Political Science class" that I took my first year). It's a class on the bureaucracy, so I'm really excited since the classes I took in my MA program on bureaucracy and organization were some of my favorites. The only downside is that it's going to be an online class, but the upside of that is that I don't have to be around campus to teach it.

I need to come up with a jazzy title, so suggestions are encouraged. Here is the syllabus:

Bureaucratic Politics

Katie Baxter

Office: Tydings 5115

kbaxter@gvpt.umd.edu

Course Description:

When thinking about branches of American government, most people overlook a very important part of the executive branch: the bureaucracy. In fact, the bureaucracy is an incredibly important part of government, responsible for regulating many aspects of our daily lives including television broadcasts, food safety, and environmental safety. Furthermore, there is ongoing debate as to whether the bureaucracy is a democratic institution since it is often able to operate with limited interference from the President and Congress. This course will examine the politics of the bureaucracy, starting with theories of bureaucratic organization, then moving on to the politics of bureaucratic control. We will also examine bureaucratic dysfunction by looking at two case studies from recent events: September 11^th and Hurricane Katrina.

Course Requirements:

Participation and attendance – 20%

Short response paper – 20%

Research paper – 50%

Presentation – 10%

All students should come to each class and be prepared to critically discuss the assigned readings. While I expect everyone to come to class, merely showing up is not sufficient.

You are also required to write a short response paper at some point during the semester. It should be 3 pages double-spaced and consist of your critical response to the readings we will be discussing that day in class (Did you agree or disagree with the authors? Is there something important that the authors did not consider? How do the readings help us to understand the topic at hand?) While the primary focus should be the readings for that class, it is acceptable to cite other relevant works.

Lastly, you are required to write a research paper on one of the topics below. If you wish to explore another topic, you must approve it with me in advance. This paper should be 8-10 pages double spaced and will be due on the last day of class. Sources should be documented in either APA or MLA style. I have style guides available for your use if you have questions on source documentation. On the last day of class, each person will have approximately 10 minutes to present their paper.

Topic 1: Control of the Bureaucracy/Bureaucratic Discretion

To what extent does Congress and the President have control over the bureaucracy? Do you agree with the congressional dominance literature or the bureaucratic discretion literature? In terms of democratic theory does either perspective cause normative problems? What are the potential solutions?

Topic 2: Models of Organization

Which model of bureaucratic organization do you find the most satisfying:

Wilson

, Niskanen, Garbage can, some other model, or some combination of models? Compare and contrast all potential models of organization and evaluate their pros and cons.

Topic 3: Bureaucratic Dysfunction

What are the primary causes of bureaucratic dysfunction? What are potential solutions, both procedural and cultural? Discuss a few examples of bureaucratic dysfunction (e.g., FEMA and Hurricane Katrina, Intelligence agencies and 9/11. etc.) and how these situations might have been mitigated.

Required Text:

Wilson, James Q. 1989. Bureaucracy: What Government Agencies Do and How They Do It. (

New York

: Basic Books).

I will also be providing articles and other readings listed below on ELMS (http://elms.umd.edu).

Accommodations for Students with Disabilities: If you have a disability and you are registered with Disability Support Services (DSS), please contact me as soon as possible so that we can discuss accommodations. A written request for accommodation is required. If you have questions about

University

Maryland

’s disability policies please contact DSS at (301) 314-7682.

Academic Integrity: You are expected to familiarize yourself with and follow the Code of Academic Integrity (http://studenthonorcouncil.umd.edu/code.html). Academic dishonesty is taken very seriously and will not be tolerated.

General Course Outline: You are expected to have completed the assigned reading each week before coming to class. I also reserve the right to change reading assignments as needed.

Class 1: Course introduction

Dye, Thomas. Politics in

America

Ch.

Class 2: Models of Organization

Wilson, James Q. 1989. Bureaucracy: What Government Agencies Do and How

They Do It.Ch. 1-2.

March, James G., Michael D. Cohen, and Johan P. Olsen. 1972. “A Garbage Can

Model of Organizational Decision Making.” Administrative Science Quarterly 17(1): 1-25.

Niskanen, William. 1971. “Bureaucracy.”

Ch.

Class 3: Bureaucrats as Operators

Wilson, James Q. 1989. Bureaucracy: What Government Agencies Do and How

They Do It.Ch. 3-6.

Class 4: Bureaucrat Managers

Wilson, James Q. 1989. Bureaucracy: What Government Agencies Do and How

They Do It.Ch. 7-9.

Class 5: Congressional Relations

Wilson, James Q. 1989. Bureaucracy: What Government Agencies Do and How

They Do It.Ch. 13.

McCubbins, Mathew D. and Thomas Schwartz. 1984. “Congressional Oversight

Overlooked: Police Patrols versus Fire Alarms.” American Journal of Political Science, 28 (February): 165-179.

McNollgast. 1987. “Administrative Procedures as Instruments of Political

Control.” Journal of Law, Economics, and Organization, 3: 243-277.

Class 6: Presidential Relations

Wilson, James Q. 1989. Bureaucracy: What Government Agencies Do and How

They Do It.Ch. 14.

Whittington, Keith E. and Daniel P. Carpenter. 2003. “Executive Power in

American Institutional Development” Perspectives on Politics 1 (September): 495-513.

Golden, Marissa. 1992. “Exit, Voice, Loyalty, and Neglect: Bureaucratic

Responses to Presidential Control.” Journal of Public Administration Research and Theory, 1: 29-62.

Class 7: Bureaucratic Discretion

Carpenter, Daniel P. 2001. The Forging of Bureaucratic Autonomy:

Reputations, Networks, and Policy Innovation in Executive Agencies, 1862-1928. Princeton:

Princeton

University

Press. Ch. 1-2 and Conclusion.

Class 8: Bureaucratic Executives

Wilson, James Q. 1989. Bureaucracy: What Government Agencies Do and How

They Do It.Ch. 10-12.

Class 9: Issue Networks and Iron Triangles

Heclo, Hugh. 1978. “Issue Networks & the Executive Establishment.”

pp. 429-439 in Richard J. Stillman, II. 1992, Public Administration Concepts and Cases, Fifth Edition,

Boston

: Houghton Mifflin Company.

Gais, et al. 1984. “Interest Groups, Iron Triangles and Representative

Institutions in American National Government.” British Journal of Political Science. 14: 161-185.

Class 10: Organizational Dysfunction, a Case Study – FEMA and Katrina

Morris, John C. 2006. “Whither FEMA? Hurricane Katrina and FEMA’s

Response to the

Gulf

Coast

.” Public Works Management and Policy, 10: 284-294.

Lipton, Eric. 2006. “Despite Steps, Disaster Planning Still Shows Gaps.” NYT

article available online

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/08/26/us/nationalspecial/26katrina.html?pagewanted=1&ei=5088&en=f7d953949a30b210&ex=1314244800&partner=rssnyt&emc=rss

Class 11: Organizational Dysfunction, a Case Study – 9/11

9/11 Commission Report Ch. 3 and 11, available online at http://www.9-11commission.gov/report/911Report.pdf.

Class 12: Conclusions and paper presentations

FINAL PAPER DUE

Most forwards are lame, but...

2008-10-29T05:11:00.000-07:00

my sister just sent me this and I found it hilarious.

IMPORTANT HEALTH ADVICE FOR WOMEN:

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?

Do you suffer from Shyness?

Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Chardonnay.

Chardonnay is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Chardonnay can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you are ready and willing to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of Chardonnay almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with Chardonnay.

Chardonnay may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Chardonnay. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic
lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss
of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headaches,
dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night
rounds of Strip Poker, Truth or Dare, and naked Twister.

WARNINGS:

The consumption of Chardonnay may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

The consumption of Chardonnay may cause you to tell your friends
over and over again that you love them.

The consumption of Chardonnay may cause you to think you can sing.

The consumption of Chardonnay may lead you to believe that ex
lovers are really dying for you to call/text them at 4 in the morning.

The consumption of Chardonnay may make you think you can logically
converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

The consumption of Chardonnay may create the illusion that you are
tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

Quote of the Day

2008-10-25T08:28:00.000-07:00

The most important things are the hardest to say. They are the things
you get ashamed of, because words diminish them -- words shrink things
that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than
living size when they're brought out. But it's more than that, isn't
it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret
heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love
to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only
to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what
you've said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you
almost cried while you were saying it. That's the worst, I think. When
the secret stays locked within not for want of a teller but for want of
an understanding ear.

-Stephen King